gradually amnesia.
now.. i'm happy.. as in.. i have no more string attach to anyone.
which is great.
i went out on this fateful day.. she was really unwell.. then but i told her that i was going out with a senior for an open house for university-[SMU].. then, i did not think much. i got out in the morning.
there was lots of fun.. from sengkang mrt station, one by one has reached. there were 4 of us. xiang yu, shiwen, fangling and me~ then, increased to 5-yilin on serangoon if i remember that correctly. then we went to dhoby ghaut mrt station where one of them went on separate ways. after that, we went to meet another 2 friends umm.. one is ben.. another.. heh~~ forgot. yeah~ we were scatter-brains.
then, we met up at the music store -yamaha to look around. that was just when alex and other forgotten again guys came along. but was really fun.. then, we went to the foodcourt. mm.. who joined us again? it is UNFAIR and..another name black black.. hahas. he's very cute~ he might be a malay, but he can speak fluent chinese.! this is so cool.. i didn't know at first.. think it was like an illegal gathering.. everyone head to SMU.. lols.. i wish i have an OG too.. hahas. i want to go meridian! by the way.. i had a bowl of noodles.
it is kind of weird though. that a secondary kid went to smu.. i might be the most anxious student who's dying of getting into university. i had quite a long way to go. lol. then.. people introduced us the courses and so on.. it was interesting actually. we saw a lot of seniors. nchs seniors~ hahas.. Lam was there.. and the npcc sergeant was there-my senior too. cool.. i think there are more.
of course.. we went to somewhere after this. suntec.. there was an IT fair. though i didn't really patronise it. hahas. on our way there.. fangling and i went bonkers. like a 3 years old kid and 2 and a half. --i'm 3.. she's 2half. they say so.. lols. getting familiar with them, i'm able to tease the guys like fangling jiejie do~ hahas
we went to arcade.. ya.. hahas.. it's hard to explain.. we did many.. basketball, shootings.. lots.. there were jokes too. shall keep it to myself. hahas. and then.. some went off eventually. it was 6pm plus. then, we went to walk walk.. left.. fangling, yilin, xiangyu, shiwen, alex, black black and me. yupp.. still in big group. we did shopping and stuffs.. then i rushed off to yewtee to get the tie when they decide to have dinner in hougang. lols.
45mins or more there, then back. haven't had my dinner.. after getting the tie, i went off to buy some food. but i must thank him for forsaking his midst of exciting game to pass this to me.
no movies.. pure playing.. this was the first time too.. i love it. so new. lols. then to hougang right away because i could reach them on time. hais. but when i reached, everyone was like, stunned. lols. because they just sat down not long ago. lols.we had a feast of western food.~! hahas. lols. then blackblack said beans would give out smelly fart. then onion would cause the longest fart.. we looked at one another and questioned. someone says ate both.. black black, alex and xiangyu moved a little and said.. "deadly." lols!!! this is so cute.!
after that.. i realised that it was 1030pm. this wasn't a good sign. i walked with them.. very reluctant to leave because this party was so so fun.. then.. mm.. i had to go. and went on bus 80 and reach home asap. when i reached, the door was locked.. 11.16pm--my handphone indicated. she was fuming mad. this was what my brother said. then i managed to get in and get in to bed.. never come out again.
yesterday, i went to study.. 1 hour and half late. but.. i managed to finish what i was expected to complete. then, i went to polyclinic for appointment. look.. i reached at 11.05, got my number at 11.16, and saw the doctor at 12.30. thank goodness i have my readers' digest with me.. otherwise, i'll be bored to death. then got my referral letter. i supposed i'm absolutely fine. just to double check with my stomach lineage. the doctor says i might be overstressed.
then, got my medicine. this time i remembered to place my prescription in the box. it was 1.15pm then.. quite late.. supposed to meet at 1.30. then got everything ready by 1.32pm. lol.. get to compass point and angela called me. "***, where are you now? have you got any idea that we have a change in time?".. "no." so on.. then i went to her house. i played klonoa!! one of my favourite games. then we were late.. we talked anything under the rain.. lols~
met wanqing whom i called her wanting and her, lifeng. hahas. then yupp catch the water horse. quite touching. poor thing. i mean the horse. then.. i went off after they bought chocolate. mm.. but then, yupp.. was 6 plus already.. a little guilty, i went to change into my uniform and got on the bus to get home.
i wish someone will punish me a little more. an unfilial child filled with dishonesty.
then.. had dinner as a family at long john. as in.. siblings. mum and dad went out. then.. look.. ***'s not a good girl. after that, when she talked to me about curfew, i "shut" her away. extremely guilty, because she cried too.. like me. you treat me well and i love you. but..how to express that i'm sorry for opposing you. you're part of my life. how would i forsake you and ignore you? i promise. i will not be late anymore. before 11pm i'll reach home. just like cinderella who kept her promise of going home despite the fun that i had. dont' cry anymore, it shatters my heart.. mummy.. i love you.
these words were always in heart.. difficult to express.. but.. hais.
one last thing.. this yes.. mm..
1. i knew one day i'll stop viewing your blog for i have got used to being single.
2. i knew one day i'll stop thinking of you for i am no longer alone.
3. i knew one day i'll stop getting near you for i have no more string attached to you.
4. i knew one day i'll be brave enough to tell you i'm independent now.
5. i knew one day i'll not be looking for you when i'm in trouble.
6. i knew one day i'll have amnesia, forgetting how you look like.
7. i knew one day i'll not have you in my heart.
8. i knew one day i'll not have any feelings for you anymore.
9. i knew one day i won't love you anymore.
10. i knew one day if i see a girl by your side, i'll walk pass you and never look back.
i've succeeded 3, 7, 9.. the rest.. i'll work hard. i realised it's okay to be alone. because i have friends.
"you've once promised that you would not let me go and chase after me if i go." ---virtuality. forget this promise. because this is not coming true. yeah.. amnesia loving you.
i wish upon my star for health, for studies, for family, for friends. i've forgotten how to love... *smiled..
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