zzz.. how i wish were some express smart kid. NA's so behind time. we have a lot to catch up. i have no time to let anything obstruct my ambition. i want to be a psychiatrist. a master degree in NUS. yes. psychology course. i'm not going to poly. aiming for jc, must get in. so i can get into U. and moreover, i need to get my flying colours result to jc. then another excellent and head to university. even if it cost my life to get them, i must.
here i go with my agenda: set good timetable so i can cope with my work and learn from failure. yes..failure. then get more practices. fulfill criteria.
i..rejected him.. sorry.. i need full concentration.. sorry to promise you that you should give me some time to think over. sorry to disappoint you. now, my only focus is on studies. moreover, if get into jc, i must never get into one too. i will die from it if i have one. i'm so sorry "r". nothing is more important than my studies now. the fact that, i fear relationship. my phobia of it. the fact that i have no confidence in guys who can cherish girls well at this age. the fact that i make sure nothing traumatise my studies. i'm deeply apologetic. sorry. you can find someone better than me. i don't wish to see you wait for me with high hopes and return with empty hands. it's not my time yet to get into one. i'm sorry. please forgive me. i experienced months of waiting and ended up with a broken heart. find someone who cherishes you. sorry!
determine for good results~ yeah. i'm getting ready.. 273 days~ bleahs.
this was what happened this week.
i had another relapse. due to stress. my teacher, mr krishnan advised me to do my undone work as i didn't manage to do it on time. in the end, i cried until i had another relapse. zzz.. what's worse. i had one leg temporary paralysed. which scared the wits out of me. that was sometime after relapse. then.. i almost fainted, but that night, i had fever. and until now, it's not recovering well. i'm dying. lols.
i won't allow this week's history to repeat. i'll try until it works. prove to them that i can get into jc! if you can't, then you must! yeah~ i will make schedules until it works well for me to finish my work on time. just watch me guys. hmph~! xp ---> snob~~ *gomen nasai!
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this is such a shocking news to me. i forgot how he looks like. i can't recall. it shows..he's really going to disappear. i don't remember how he looks like. i forgot.. mm.. nevertheless, no more hatred in me. no time either. i hope he leads on his life well. ya. end. i will eradicate every part of my memories with you. not leaving a bit of footprints behind. when we coincidentally meet on the streets again. i'll treat you like a stranger with a smile on my face to you.
truly..hopes that i'll be able to look at you with the smile on my face.
hooray to preparation for "o" levels' workload. thank goodness for keeping me busy to even think.
you're..officially forgotten.
*if you see this message, i hope.. you know.. i've forgiven, buried the hatchet of whatever the arguments might be. i seek your forgiveness too. thank you for the year long care and concern.
-a.stranger.message-
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Saturday, January 12, 2008
today.. hais.. go alone. hahas.. stupidity.. hahas.
i told my junior to wait for me in tampines, i waited at pasir ris. hahas.. lols. in the end, her family kept her company. she has to go along with her parents..zzz. i wished my brother came along. zzz.
quite interesting. hahas. know more about the courses.. and finally decided what i want to do too. hahas. psychology. to be a psychologist. otherwise, biomedical? quite nice. heh.
i'm selfish. arts.. i know my topic. but just can't help getting upset that teacher blurted out my ideas. it's good to share. but at times, when everyone hasn't decide on the studies that they want to research on, she blurt out, it only means to use the same topic, same idea. hais. however, this time, i found a better idea. but at a risk. unlock my lost card number to borrow books.. die.. quick quick use, quick quick return and lock. lols.. not telling you my topic first. hahas
mm.. silly. i kept going to the wrong direction like an idiot. hahas..
mm.. i think i have to reject meiqi le. her invitation to church. need to work for my studies. though she has a point to study in a condusive environment, but sacrificing 6 hours is definitely not worthwhile. i'm sorry to say that. but my studies comes first.. nothing else except studies and family. at least i can have 2 hours of distractions, but 4 more hours to study. hahas. so.. really. hais. all is work work work.. no choice.. sorry meimei..
mm.. tired. it was in pasir ris.. i didn't know the water that flows down my cheeks so naturally were tears. i missed him. the past. it is the memories that caused it. he's gone. the one i used to love. not someone of now. the similarities between seeing him now and past are appearance. the heart, the character whom i've used to know has became so strange to me. on the road as of now, he became a mere stranger. when did he slipped off without a notification? just the smiles he used to have and as of now, it's different. he's gone.
gosh.. another person said.. "what if i say i like you, how would you react?" mm.. to this question.. i don't know. i can only say.. phobia. i don't wish to take him as a substitute of "his" old-self. i won't. as of now, i only know o levels. mm.. hey.. can you wait until our o levels finishes before we talk about it? i don't want to get confused and hurt since i'm recovering from pains. phobia of relationship.. mm.. ya.. sorry to hurt you.. but.. wait? work hard. your parents would want you to score too.. hahas. i hope..i'm imagining things. think too much.
sobs.. i was rude to dad. mm.. hais.. apologies~ later go in say sorry.
quote of today(qn): why does people only realise their mistakes and admit/apologise after making them happened.?
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Friday, January 11, 2008
lols going to tp.. temasek open house.. can't help feeling rather excited.. hahas. going to take my juniors along. hahas.. lols. they don't know how to go.. zzz.. i think i don't know either. hahas.. check first lo. hahas.
mm..! hahas.. later going to bake after go tp.. hahas.. cos' my aunt's working out the chinese new year cake again. hahas.. cool.. going to help out.. i wonder if i should do some work before going. cos' there are really lots. hahas
mm.. look.. this is what happened, my teacher kept giving loads of words to improve our vocab. hahas. someday, i read them all since we had made some notes about it. hahas.. then i'll use it to impress jiaxian. hahas.. he always somehow feels that my english is.. zzzz. lols. this is silly act. i haven't grown up. lols.
sians.. work work work. nevermind. i expect good results. therefore the hard work. bucking up.
zzz.. tired. had a meet-the-parent session.. he informed all parents about the school's expectations. hahas.. and i know where i want to go. i want to get into psychology course. see the score first. hahas. mm.. stressed.. and this week.. hahas.. i'll get more and more busy. hahas.. 7 months more. less than 250++ days.. work hard..
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Wednesday, January 9, 2008
"welcome to sec 5"
this is the phrase my english teacher like to say.. they gave us the most strict teachers and some HOD.. or potential teachers.. zzz.. stressed..
i can't sleep before 12am. this is what he said. not even having time to got o the washroom.. no time.
think i'll stop here la.. come online only because of arts.
i'll come back when i have time. maybe.. hahas.. after o.
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