hmm.? i'm back.. hahas.. hmm.. with a happy feeling.. this is what i got from these days.. heh.. look~
"happiness and sadness are controlled by us. No one can control how/what you think and how you reaction. conclusion: sadness and happiness can be chosen. what you want to be, depends on you."
-by a friend-
reasonable, my friend? hahas.. well.. this is just one of my naive thinking. hahas..
hmm.. yupp.. well.. i chose to be happy everyday, back to that jumpy me.. the used to be naive and up to mischief little girl.. though i've grown up.. but i still can enjoy this short moments.. ya..
here's short stories..
a girl whose name is lina, was a very sweet and pleasant girl. but due to the sad incident that happened in her past, she've lost her childhood without enjoyments and freedom like other kids. but as she grew up, she led a normal and ordinary life which she has always hoped for.
she grew up to be a young lady. however, she found out that her friends had wonderful childhoods. she felt so jealous. therefore she acted like a kid to retrieve her childhood.
one day, one of her friends, jacelyn could no longer stand her behavior and scolded her for being juvenile. she was upset at first and was unhappy with jacelyn. over a period of time, she finally understood that her childhood can never be perfect anymore; a past of hers and was embarassed for her actions. she began to behave like a lady.
there.. nice one? hahas.. if she were to be realistic, she could have been more happy ya? so this was the path she chose. hahas
actually nothing.. recently, i felt lost and confused.. he is really nice.. but do i really deserve him..? over this 2 days, i've been thinking to amend the faults and mistakes that i have done to him. he really don't deserve such unfair treatments. i've always been the one who demands and he'll always be the one contributing. it's just when he agreed that we've drifted apart, my feelings started to waver.. so.. do i really.. really deserve him at all??
hmm. even if i were to requested by someone to let him go, i have no rights to hold him back. hmm.. in anyway.. i love him. hahas. just forever.. going on.. but then, hahas.. i saw his sweet, caring replies and smses in the past.. but compare to now.. it really kind of hurt.
i want to be myself. to love him of myself in heart.. i'm more than contented to love him.. i'm really.. very fortunate. whereby i didn't cherish it. now, i looked back, i see myself drifting away from what i am. i want.. just simply, loving him. i hope to go back to what we are before.. loving him. expect no more from what he gives in relationship, loving him for who he is..
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