i know. i can't afford to feel down. really.. just today.. maybe.. somehow.. emptiness, hollow.. a little sweet, a little sour.. and a little bitter. you never know.. just how empty the lost in it can be.. ya.. everyday's happiness.. was all short moments. i hope this entry was never seen.. but.. ya..
why.. hmm.. where's.. happiness? a constant fear there.. that.. i'll fail in it again.. i know.. happy.. my.. happyness. afraid to lose therefore fought to keep it. but was a tough process.. cos' it'll never be solve.. no understanding. constant.. no high hopes. where do i stand anyway..? stand.. in the same old bus-stop. "no one knows when the next bus will come." my attention.. i used to belong.
sometime.. feel like giving up.. so.. maybe.. i'll get back what the emptiness. i really down to it. if it was ever to turn out in this expected way, i'll never ever get involved until i really finishes this graduation in secondary life. and provided that.. till i'm mature enough to get involved.. unfaithfulness.. lingers.. guilty..
what can i do.. hmm.. maybe.. i can.. just.. some little time more.. finding the security in my "faith".. or maybe.. choose to leave everything behind..? or.. as it is..? can i stand? hmm.. look into it.. depth.. deep.. my trust it is.. where.. has it gone..
wait.. wait.. for the... only.. one year.. the simple sensation and feeling that i once had.. the.. faraway. unknowing.. anniversary.
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