______Here Comes MICKEY`!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I want to cry..
At least, someone to comfort.

Can anyone?
I lost so much trust..
Can I trust now?

I can't see you now..
Because I might flare at you.
Which I never want to.

How can I..?
Don't ask me..
I don't even know myself.

Go..away.
I don't want to see you.

Squeaks` @* 8:20 AM

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I've completed what I am requested to do. I hand up late work.--hopefully.

Now, I still yearned for that minimal warmth from you.
I want to risk.. To risk my heart by the edge of the cliff..
Her name is stuck in my mind.
I admit. I am jealous of her free-confrontation to you.
Because she has something that I don't.

Your care and concern.
But everything was late.
Our love can be simple.
If time could go back, I won't need much.
Just for your company.

I thank you so much.
When I need you badly,
When I need to hear your voice,
you are there.

You were not there for me then.
But everything..
Is it because a person never lost it, so the value is not a matter?
Then, am I valuable in your heart now.?

For now, i only hoped.
I watch from far.
I've dreamed of you.
It has become a dream.

Now, I risk myself to break my heart.
To place my faith in you.
I.. look forward to this coming meeting.
"Follow your heart.."

I've read a book called "the secret". It tells about the Law of Attraction. One of it states that: If one always think of the thoughts, it will definitely happen. Regardless of good or bad results, as long as you think of it, you "summon" it.

Cool right? I thought so too. Example: "I don't think I can pass" then I'll definitely not pass. If I say, I can definitely get into Junior College, then I definitely will. Right.

This is a discovery from Times bookshop when window shopping with winnie. Heh. And I had great fun even though I didn't managed to watch Step up 2 with them. Okay, it's getting late. My laundry is done. Next time update.

Squeaks` @* 9:12 AM

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Can you tell me.. What I am doing? I have forgotten what is diligent.
Not working.
Indulging in computer.
I'm going to fail.
I won't pass.
I do not have all the world of time for myself.

Thanks.. For letting me know.

The rhythm of guitar continues.
But everything is no longer the same.
We should get on with life.
Why am I the only one indulging in my past?

Since it does not help,
When the clock strikes 12,
Cinderella is still a pathetic and poor girl.
She have nothing in her hands,
Except the memory that she can reminisce

But nothing will return.
I would not hope anymore.
At least, now I know where I stand.
It's my fault.
But thanks.

I have a lot to finish.
I will finish them tomorrow.

Today, my tutor taught me. He's finding someone to teach. Lols. But then.. um.. Lols. In the end, he said nevermind. I never knew, we are getting more familiar that he would tell me more about himself. Like the deafening firing, his busy schedule and others. Lols.. But a pure friend. He is one who is filled with question marks when I speak. Maybe it's my "talk". So he do not understand. Right.

I'm so glad that she talked to me. She's not angry anymore I hope.

Tomorrow going to watch movie with wiie. Lols. Gee. I'm tired.

Can I hear you talk before.. "end up forgetting even that I’ve forgotten"
Ending up without you.

Squeaks` @* 8:40 AM

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Oh dear.. What's happening to me.?
I begin to wonder if I have depression.

I broke down upon the incident that I argued with my mum today. Then, I cried for many things.
I was so crazy today too.. Shout from the top to the bottom for Sir Arthur, my Coolest Coach for guitar. Today was so happy because of Qianyong's return. She really brings a lot of happiness. Maybe we did not speak much but the silence is already our most heart warming greetings. Too concern, just convey through the air.

Hais..I'm really unwell now.. Breathless. Bye.

Squeaks` @* 9:43 AM

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I have been watching the sky.
"Don't cry. Do you know you look best when you smile?"
And he smiled brightly.
I would not let you cry.
I will wipe your tears away though I teared away.

You were out of reach.
I could only stand by the side.
Watching your movements, I got confused.

No..It is hallucination.
Like last time. I illustrated every beautiful fantasy.
You shattered them all. You woke me up.
I may have got back into the same dreamland.
Perhaps the history would repeat.
I fear.

If it were to be true, why am I the only one to respond to the echo?
Why am I selflessly contributing to a never-answered?
It's all virtual.

I feel a drift away from you.
When I share the Olden times with you, I drowned you with old grandmother's story.
You felt nothing.
No joy
No hatred
No love
No jealousy
No, nothing.
It only proves one thing,
I'm directing a movie on my own again.

The film start rolling, I could only stand in daze.
my tears were flowing too.
So everything turned out futile.
My hope and wishes, once more tarnished.

I hope one day I would smile.
Because I couldn't bring myself to smile in front of my mirror.

Stars has faded
Because you chose to leave.
I would live without you.. leaving me numbered days.

"Now..Don't cry.. you look best when you smile.."--- do you still remember?

Squeaks` @* 8:41 AM

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

I went to look for qian.. She got the tie le.

We chatted for hours. Thanks to her mother, it's so kind of her give me the "miso soup."

Oh ya. I'm getting better. Hahas.

I have just seen the sky.. It was clear and really beautiful.. Now, I think, as a star, I am part of the sky. =) Part of the sky.. I know what I like. It's the cloud that flows freely. White.. The purest. I just simply love them.

I will stop pinning. I have reached my ultimate motive. Thanks.. Maybe in this way, we will both be better. Walk away.. Don't look back.

I dreamt of becoming part of the sky.. Really.. Maybe, I am too indulged in Sky of Love. Maybe indulgence is a bliss.

I have got everything I wanted to do. =) Have my wish fulfilled.
I smiled when I look at the sky.. You smile too..

Squeaks` @* 1:31 AM

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Friday, March 14, 2008

mika,

hiro..

kodomo..

happy forever~

Squeaks` @* 6:38 AM

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you must have hated me..
maybe.. you avoided me?

i'm sorry.
i don't have a broad shoulder for you to lean on.
but i have a small one.
i may not be able to make you happy.
but when you need me, i have a pair of listening ear.

please be happy..
i'll feel better that way..maybe.
i brought you upon unhappiness.
this maybe the very reason you have chosen to leave me too.

i'm always silly.
if leaving me, forgetting me makes you a happier person
please do so.

my heart sank.
i didn't manage to see the sky today.
couldn't get out of my bed in the morning.
it just hurt a little too much.
so even sitting up, it does.

are you..embracing now?
dear..where are you now..
i miss you.

these are raining.
are you upset?
in that case, i'll give you stars.

i'm joining you soon anyway.

lying on the bed is bored.
i walked too.. lols.

i hoped..i'll see you soon.

know.. the sky must be beautiful today.
a pity, i don't have energy to get out to see you really.
the world's still spinning.
i need ample of rest.

and.. homework.. i need to finish them.
teachers must be upset with me.
i didn't attend school today.
i'm sorry.

i want to watch sky of love again.
to cry madly again.
it's based on true story.
can i watch again?

it hurts..aww.

smile.. you look better when you smile..
you know..?
sigh..

maybe.. i'll see you..
just once more.. then i won't be there anymore.

silly.. i really..emotional.
i left..less than 20 years.

sigh..
smile.
i'll join you soon..
wait for me.

Squeaks` @* 5:14 AM

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

mm.. i think.. i am talking harsh..
i'm so sorry if i had hurt you..

today i emo-ing again.. looking into the sky..
i wish i could turn into the sky too..
to find you back.. i miss you.

it rains heavily.
but i didn't shun away from you
your tears dropped on my cheeks
it combines with mine.
i didn't know those were tears.

now.. i know i miss you so.

i wish i could hug you.
before i disappears.

before i know,
blood came out from my mouth again.
it's virtual..
i believe.

i'm not leaving.
i know you're still somewhere.
i can't find you..

i will see you one day.. i know..
i love you..all along.

thank you..for wiping my tears.

Squeaks` @* 6:13 AM

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

i've just watched sky of love. it touched me.. i finally know what real true love.. that truly undergo weals and woes.

i'll love the sky from now on.. along with stars, as a whole.

clear sky stands for happy
rainy sky stands for crying
sunset stands for embarrassment
night sky stands for embrace
"i could only give you a cheap ring; but if i turn into the sky, i'll get you as many stars for you as possible."

mika's and hiro's love story.. seeped deep into my heart..
i want a love like this..
to be together forever.. don't have to be side by side. but spiritually.
i'll remember today 12 march 08, wed, 17, first time watching alone. yeah.

this is about a story that a girl, mika has never been in love until hiro came along.
she lost her phone. but a mystical guy, hiro found it for her and placed it on the book shelve in the school library. she found it. but lost all messages and contacts. his answer was, "do you really need them? if they want to contact you, they'll call you."

just like this, they know each other. on their first meeting, with the proof of a photo of jet steam in sky, it proves to her that this golden hair "hooligan" she sees him as, is the one who talked to her and the one she had grew good impression on.

then the flowers that hiro wanted to give her as a birthday gift upon knowing that she loves flower, he planted it back. mika was touched when she sees him taking care of the plants and showed her rainbows during the watering. then, this is how she fell for him.

and they.. you know..** hahas.. but.. there was this girl, saki, ex of hiro, was very jealous about mika. so she caused a lot of problems to her. including to send guys to assault mika sexually. poor mika. hiro was depressed for not able to protect mika. but.. hiro helped her by bringing saki to her for compensation and beating the people up. but she did nothing. ultimately, his sister, minako cut her hair away.

but mika was not able to get over it. but, hiro brought her to his favourite spot where he became strong. then.. she slowly recovers.

however, the revenge was not over. the blackboard of all classes had mika's number of "looking her up". devastated, hiro went to every class to clean them off and warned them to not bully her girl. then brought mika to the library. knowing that hiro is worried, mika consoled him.. and told him she's no longer afraid. then something happened.

surprisingly, she got pregnant. mika's father was absolutely stunned. but.. mika intended to break the news to hiro. then..when she told him, he ran off.. she waited for very long. but he never turn up. but just when she was about to go, he gave a Christmas gift to mika and told her to keep his baby and promised to make them happy.

upon breaking the news to both parties' parents, hiro's family was very happy upon hearing hiro's responsibility. he intended to quit school and work to look after the baby and mika. but mika's parents were not very much agree to this decision. however, his perseverance is extremely admirable. before her parents disagree, he said, "i will not leave until you agree!" and before he leaves, he said, "i will continue to come until you agree!" mika supported hiro. she touched his face with her warm hands as an encouragement. "your hands are warm enough to make the baby comfortable."

this was not over. saki saw mika and pushed her down the stair upon the unhappiness she has in her that hiro chose mika over her. she convinced her with "fight with fairness and you will not love him as much as i do." cool! they went out on this fateful day, 24 Dec. hiro was all to provide for the baby. he even bought gloves for the baby. but.. mika had a miscarriage on that very day. when she woke up, the baby was gone. but poor hiro went to pray for the baby's safety. mika fell on her knees crying upon her failure to protect the baby. hiro's heart was shattered.

not long, hiro avoided mika and hurt her to force her away.. then the rest.. heh.. skip.. go watch it yourself! hahas.. copyrighted you know?? hahas.. in the end, mika's alone happily.. but hiro and her is married. hahas. go watch~~ bleahs xp

anyway.. this is one touching story that i'll not forget.. and.. worth it. hahas..

you know...

today's a rainy day..
just like the day i first met you.
i sat on the same place where we had our dinner in long john.
do you know, i love to watch movie there because i feel your presence?

reminiscing our times.
but.. i left all the memories till we parted at jurong east mrt station.
that is where.. i lost you forever.. you're now hyde.
the one i used to love.. is binhao. not hyde..
i will always remember binhao..

and this is the very reason that i lost every love for you..
because you are not whom i love anymore.
no matter how much you try to change yourself to the past.
our heavenly days.

i'm so sorry.. it may hurt me deep..
but i know this is not someone i love anymore.
he's gone forever..
i'm willing to endure the pains to forget you.

i'll care for you as a friend.
look you upon as a friend.
please do take great care.

i finally know what's true love..

Squeaks` @* 7:31 AM

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

english

I turn off the time to wake up before the alarm clock ressounds
I don’t know why but I can already remember you

I wonder if, before I know it, I’ll forget
even the miracle of being able to meet you for one hundred minutes
Will I end up forgetting even that I’ve forgotten?

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah
I’m locking up those days that are still a bit warm

Tired of walking, I sat down and was at a loss, if you were with me
We could have talked about something like our unbearable dream’s fate

I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
That I feel “Thank you” are maybe words
much sadder than “goodbye”

Heavenly days, I wonder if I could smile properly
At the scene of our last kiss, I couldn’t even
grasp your shivering hands, not even my tears fell, ah
Now that it’s too late, they overflow when I’m alone

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there’s no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you’re not here anymore
I’ll walk on under a new light

新垣結衣 - Heavenly Days
作詞: 新原陽一
作曲: クボケンジ

目覚ましが鳴る前に起きて時を止める
思い出せるのはもうなんとなくだけど君の事
一億分の君に会えた奇跡なんかも
いつの間にか忘れちゃうかな
忘れた事さえもきっと忘れてしまうの？

heavenly days胸のポケットの部屋
君の消えたぬくもりを探すよ
もう二度と君を想うことはなくても
まだ少し暖かいあの日々に鍵をかけて

歩きつかれて座り込んで途方にくれて
叶わない夢 “運命”とかふたりなら言えた
改札口で言えなかった言いたかった
“ありがとう”って言葉は多分
“さよなら”よりも悲しい言葉に思うの

heavenly days
うまく笑えてたかな？
最後のキスシーン震える君の手も
握れなかった涙さえ落ちなかった
一人ぽっちになり今さら溢れ出すよ

heavenly days
胸のポケットの部屋
君の消えたぬくもりを探すよ
もう二度と君を想うことはなくても
手を伸ばしてみてもここにはもう居ないよ
新しい光の下歩き出すよ

mezamashi ga naru maeni okite toki wo tomeru
omoida seruno wa mou nantonaku dakedo kimi no koto
ichiokubun no kimi ni aeta kiseki nankamo
itsunomanika wasure chaukana
wasureta koto sae mo kitto wasurete shimauno

heavenly days
mune no pocket no heya
kimi no kieta nukumori wo sagasu yo
mou nido to kimi wo omou koto wa nakutemo
mada sugoshi atatakai ano hibi ni kagi wo kakete

aruki tsukarete suwarikon de tohou ni kurete
kanawanai yume “unmei” toka futari nara ieta
kaisatsuguchi de ienakatta iitakatta
“arigatou”tte kotoba wa tabun
“sayonara” yorimo kanashii kotoba ni omouno

heavenly days
umaku waraeteta kana
saigo no kiss scene furueru kimi no te mo
nigi renakatta namida sae ochi nakatta
hitori pocchi ni nari imasara afuredasuyo

heavenly days
mune no pocket no heya
kimi no kieta nukumori wo sagasu yo
mou nido to kimi wo omou koto wa nakutemo
te wo nobashite mitemo koko ni wa mou inai yo
atarashii hikari no shita aruki da su yo

Squeaks` @* 2:19 AM

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maybe.. i'm too harsh..
to protect myself. prevent myself from getting hurt.
i'm so so afraid to get hurt.
but true.

went to remedial.. just came back.. i'm alone at home le. feel like going for a movie in the cinema~ lols. the song of this particular movie. "sky of love." the song is nice! and.. another. "protection layer" -- direct translation from chinese. try to find and show you bas~

i have little to view my blog. one reason: i want to keep in low profile. lols.

this is how i feel..-- what the lyric is trying to say.

sky of love..--heavenly days.
i wish to watch.

Squeaks` @* 12:24 AM

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Monday, March 10, 2008

gradually amnesia.
now.. i'm happy.. as in.. i have no more string attach to anyone.
which is great.

i went out on this fateful day.. she was really unwell.. then but i told her that i was going out with a senior for an open house for university-[SMU].. then, i did not think much. i got out in the morning.

there was lots of fun.. from sengkang mrt station, one by one has reached. there were 4 of us. xiang yu, shiwen, fangling and me~ then, increased to 5-yilin on serangoon if i remember that correctly. then we went to dhoby ghaut mrt station where one of them went on separate ways. after that, we went to meet another 2 friends umm.. one is ben.. another.. heh~~ forgot. yeah~ we were scatter-brains.

then, we met up at the music store -yamaha to look around. that was just when alex and other forgotten again guys came along. but was really fun.. then, we went to the foodcourt. mm.. who joined us again? it is UNFAIR and..another name black black.. hahas. he's very cute~ he might be a malay, but he can speak fluent chinese.! this is so cool.. i didn't know at first.. think it was like an illegal gathering.. everyone head to SMU.. lols.. i wish i have an OG too.. hahas. i want to go meridian! by the way.. i had a bowl of noodles.

it is kind of weird though. that a secondary kid went to smu.. i might be the most anxious student who's dying of getting into university. i had quite a long way to go. lol. then.. people introduced us the courses and so on.. it was interesting actually. we saw a lot of seniors. nchs seniors~ hahas.. Lam was there.. and the npcc sergeant was there-my senior too. cool.. i think there are more.

of course.. we went to somewhere after this. suntec.. there was an IT fair. though i didn't really patronise it. hahas. on our way there.. fangling and i went bonkers. like a 3 years old kid and 2 and a half. --i'm 3.. she's 2half. they say so.. lols. getting familiar with them, i'm able to tease the guys like fangling jiejie do~ hahas

we went to arcade.. ya.. hahas.. it's hard to explain.. we did many.. basketball, shootings.. lots.. there were jokes too. shall keep it to myself. hahas. and then.. some went off eventually. it was 6pm plus. then, we went to walk walk.. left.. fangling, yilin, xiangyu, shiwen, alex, black black and me. yupp.. still in big group. we did shopping and stuffs.. then i rushed off to yewtee to get the tie when they decide to have dinner in hougang. lols.

45mins or more there, then back. haven't had my dinner.. after getting the tie, i went off to buy some food. but i must thank him for forsaking his midst of exciting game to pass this to me.

no movies.. pure playing.. this was the first time too.. i love it. so new. lols. then to hougang right away because i could reach them on time. hais. but when i reached, everyone was like, stunned. lols. because they just sat down not long ago. lols.we had a feast of western food.~! hahas. lols. then blackblack said beans would give out smelly fart. then onion would cause the longest fart.. we looked at one another and questioned. someone says ate both.. black black, alex and xiangyu moved a little and said.. "deadly." lols!!! this is so cute.!

after that.. i realised that it was 1030pm. this wasn't a good sign. i walked with them.. very reluctant to leave because this party was so so fun.. then.. mm.. i had to go. and went on bus 80 and reach home asap. when i reached, the door was locked.. 11.16pm--my handphone indicated. she was fuming mad. this was what my brother said. then i managed to get in and get in to bed.. never come out again.

yesterday, i went to study.. 1 hour and half late. but.. i managed to finish what i was expected to complete. then, i went to polyclinic for appointment. look.. i reached at 11.05, got my number at 11.16, and saw the doctor at 12.30. thank goodness i have my readers' digest with me.. otherwise, i'll be bored to death. then got my referral letter. i supposed i'm absolutely fine. just to double check with my stomach lineage. the doctor says i might be overstressed.

then, got my medicine. this time i remembered to place my prescription in the box. it was 1.15pm then.. quite late.. supposed to meet at 1.30. then got everything ready by 1.32pm. lol.. get to compass point and angela called me. "***, where are you now? have you got any idea that we have a change in time?".. "no." so on.. then i went to her house. i played klonoa!! one of my favourite games. then we were late.. we talked anything under the rain.. lols~

met wanqing whom i called her wanting and her, lifeng. hahas. then yupp catch the water horse. quite touching. poor thing. i mean the horse. then.. i went off after they bought chocolate. mm.. but then, yupp.. was 6 plus already.. a little guilty, i went to change into my uniform and got on the bus to get home.

i wish someone will punish me a little more. an unfilial child filled with dishonesty.

then.. had dinner as a family at long john. as in.. siblings. mum and dad went out. then.. look.. ***'s not a good girl. after that, when she talked to me about curfew, i "shut" her away. extremely guilty, because she cried too.. like me. you treat me well and i love you. but..how to express that i'm sorry for opposing you. you're part of my life. how would i forsake you and ignore you? i promise. i will not be late anymore. before 11pm i'll reach home. just like cinderella who kept her promise of going home despite the fun that i had. dont' cry anymore, it shatters my heart.. mummy.. i love you.

these words were always in heart.. difficult to express.. but.. hais.

one last thing.. this yes.. mm..

1. i knew one day i'll stop viewing your blog for i have got used to being single.
2. i knew one day i'll stop thinking of you for i am no longer alone.
3. i knew one day i'll stop getting near you for i have no more string attached to you.
4. i knew one day i'll be brave enough to tell you i'm independent now.
5. i knew one day i'll not be looking for you when i'm in trouble.
6. i knew one day i'll have amnesia, forgetting how you look like.
7. i knew one day i'll not have you in my heart.
8. i knew one day i'll not have any feelings for you anymore.
9. i knew one day i won't love you anymore.
10. i knew one day if i see a girl by your side, i'll walk pass you and never look back.

i've succeeded 3, 7, 9.. the rest.. i'll work hard. i realised it's okay to be alone. because i have friends.

"you've once promised that you would not let me go and chase after me if i go." ---virtuality. forget this promise. because this is not coming true. yeah.. amnesia loving you.

i wish upon my star for health, for studies, for family, for friends. i've forgotten how to love... *smiled..

Squeaks` @* 5:08 PM

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Saturday, March 8, 2008

it has affirmed..
i'm eliminated..
no feeling if left behind..
is this cruelty or good fortune.?

i don't wish to know, don't wish to see..
right.. i should have totally given up on love.
i left single bit.
right.. you should shatter them all..
this love is unwanted anyway.

sigh.. vex..

quite happy today.. i went to ailene jiejie's house.. saw baby john le~ carried him too.. hahas.. he's so so cute.. hahas.. love him..
ailene jiejie and francis gorgor taught me physics and math.. hahas.. great.. i understand them totally.

and we went for a family dinner.. the best part..we went home by lorry.. then they see us home.. we sing till we get home. this is so cool.. hahas.. all my siblings participated it o~ so cool..

mm.. hahas.. i need to work hard..

since..unwanted.. let go bas.. ya.
time to let go now.

Squeaks` @* 6:19 AM

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Friday, March 7, 2008

a dying person should void of everything.
suffering alone. facing it alone. i'm not going to tell.

gosh.. pain. silent. fainting signs.
remembering, stars appear everywhere with light to console me when i cry.
but i see them without tears. i won't fear. i won't..

you're always so hidden.. i can't find you. neither can i see how you are like now.
you never tell me, before and now. i feel quite tired of guessing games.
can you tell me now? how you feel..?

nevermind, forget it. i'm blabbering. just keep quiet.. don't say.

i want to be alone for a moment. it hurts physically badly.
argh.. forgetful minded.. where's my medicine..
i can't find.. help.

Squeaks` @* 10:10 AM

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a lot of work.. mm..

tired. what a day.. but happy.. i have so many company. hahas

mm.. anyone got jjc tie? lend me? tired.

i realised that it may be time to go. yea.

Squeaks` @* 9:48 AM

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some are songs from leap years. yupp

Squeaks` @* 9:03 AM

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

曲/周杰倫
詞/方文山

木格子窗沿邊的雨水蔓延過洗石子的台階
我說眼前發生的這些有一種很懷念的感覺

大雨後牆角的羊齒蕨遮蔽了一雙老舊的鞋
這畫面像誰在離別
讓人想要去了解

站在大街手握咖啡吐氣暖手的平安夜
你就是我的世界 OH~ OH~

那手寫卡片的感覺字跡裡愛過的一切
你手寫著愛誰我嘴角甜甜的浮現好多的細節

在紙上紛飛的安慰你一筆一劃慢慢給
用手寫說愛誰我細數每段回憶該有的香味

那手寫卡片的感覺無法重來的聖誕節
你手寫你愛誰你說你喜歡我閉上眼睛嘟著嘴

白紙上有你的世界我看到好多的體貼
你手寫愛過誰愛如此細微連日期都那麼美

Squeaks` @* 2:47 AM

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her tears flows down her cheek..
i could only watch her.
a few words of console yet..
unknown of my capability of succession.
i could not say much.
because i could only help her this much.
my plight is just like her.
i hope her wish will come true.

and i thought i always knew everything.
i thought.. i knew he likes me..
outcome is a cruel fact.
i know.. we're thousand miles apart.
like the stars and earth.

only now that i know,
stars cannot get near ice.
it will melt and vanish into vapours.

i should be thankful that i can feel you.
i'll just stand far apart from you.
watch over you.
i wish you.

here.. i finally went to see a doctor. she wants to complain my school for neglecting students' health.
funny.. just because of me.. T-T it is nothing serious~~! honestly speaking the truth.. i'm only there to get medicine~ she said that the school can't keep us for studies until 4 plus then our lunch. but then.. mr krishnan is kind.. he let us out for food. i'm deadmeat.. it's all my fault. if i don't get medicine, the school will not be complained. is all my fault..
oh.. she said i had an appointment on 10th march. i wondered. she said she might refer me to the hospital if i don't get better and.. then.. the hospital will put a long tube.. insert into stomach.. and...

Gosh!! imagining again.. i won't run wild.. promise.

even if i get to the hospital. i will remain silent. i won't tell my mummy or daddy. i will go by myself and be a strong girl.

i had conflicts with snow. know.. i think she thought i'm snatching min from her. but i don't. cause' i only left min, the best friend of friends in the school.. i just need to talk. i'm sorry.. for giving you cold shoulder, snow. i'm bad. i don't know how to talk to you either. i'm so sorry..

here.. mr quek, my geography teacher is going to take me off my duty of being a representative for geography. what a failure. i failed to complete my duty. sigh. failure..

tell me now.. i failed to be a good daughter to quarrel with my mummy. i failed to be good girlfriend in the past. i failed in my studies. i failed in my health.. i failed in friendship.. now, tell me.. what else is coming up.. i shouldn't be here in the world in the first place right? because i provide only sadness to the world. i bring no life to the world. i shouldn't exist. i shouldn't.. i so sorry everyone..

i thought i knew everything. everything could be under controlled. but i don't.

i won't..hurt anyone anymore le. sorry.

Squeaks` @* 12:49 AM

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Saturday, March 1, 2008

the song: merry chri

The day i met the person i love,

There is no greater joy that i could have felt.

Naturally, like many other couples, are linked arms and walked the streets.

Because we're under the same sky,

And feeling the same moment,

We're becoming more like each other.

Because you're so special to me,

It is my love that wants to be with you more.

Now that painful wound is healing.

Because you're by my side, i am free

Even the lonely and hard times,

Of the winter is bearable.

Even if the first snow falls and i who used to be alone.

will not cry anymore. i will smile.

i used to be so afraid of love

but you let me listen to this CD

and the love letter you sent me

because i will never meet such a love again,

i promise to myself many times a day

there are words that i've always wanted to say

i thank you so much for finding me

On this street where the white snow is falling,

you made me such a special promise.

you whispered a love whiter than the snow, for us to stay together

i have always come short but

your love has always taken care of me

snowflakes are blessing the sky too

you're my everything, i love you so much

the white white snow's comin' tonight

make a wish upon your kiss

Squeaks` @* 1:40 AM

__________________________________________________________________

About

.stella.sekki.
Age 17. Jan baby.
Student.Vocalist

Adores

I.adores.my.family
I.love.my.band.band.
I.love.my.friends.

Friends

Arthur.Rockstar!
Anonymous.friend
banana.zhabo's
beike.sister
Ben/Vermon.brother
cornelius.schoolmate5B
denyse.dancejunior
devilrinas.dancejuniors[nuers]
elaine.zhabos's
felicia.dancejunior
huiishaan.schoolmate5B
huiting.classmate5A
ivy.dancejunior
jason.band
jerrome.band
kamy.tuitionpal
khaiyin.dancejunior
kira.bandmember
linqi.secclassmate5A
liyun.dancejunior
magdalene.secclassmate4B
meiqi.classmate5A
min.cutegirl
priscilla.dancejunior
qian.bestbuddy
qimin.dancejunior
raychel.specialgirl
shitsteadjocelyn.mummy
shuqing.beike'sfrien
shiwenjiejie.sweetsis
sylvia.zhabo's
wanling.dancejunior
xue.sister
yanhan.dancejunior
yeejoo.5Aclassmate

Credits

Oh Boy~!

History

April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008