back.. hahas from the dance. well. hahas. i did something cruel. deleted. all photos..of..him. even numbers. as time goes by, the inefficient brain of mine will forget everything. his number. i..just..feeling quite tired. like a chick lost her way. lost her mother's by her side. she has to learn surviving. on her own.
today, i pondered a lot. all memories slowly and one by one like waterfall, just went gushing back. i don't have the courage to see a complete loving him and her. cries has turn silent. too hard. i shouldn't even have cried. that should be another terrible cry. i almost got myself into trouble. with another occurence of relapse. knock my head~! not being a good girl. hahas~
but come to think of it, i still have winnie, jessie. looking at them made me feel fortunate already. just then, qian sms too. hahas. and i still have qian, jocelyn mummy and yeeteng nuer. hahas. they want to go out with me too. hahas. yeah~ self prom~ cool. time to get dressed up girl~!! as for wiie and jessie, their dances, free and easy. i want to be like them.. and the hardship throw all back behind. hahas. dance cool~ hahas. and me~get a life of my own. not going to be a vine to rely on a tree. i want to be a tree on my own. even i maybe vulnerable in big storms and rain, i'll get my way out. hahas. like an never-die seedling. even a grass know her way of stand upright even being trampled umpteen times.
going to be strong. i'm a strong girl hush.. don't cry anymore. look forward. get out of the circle. hahas.
and..the easiest way to get out.. put down the love for him. return it all back. don't even keep a bit. i know it's tempting. but try. he'll be happy living now. hahas. shared my happiness, so i backed out. even a single contact.. hahas. so handphone contact..? no..way.
i just..predicted. my heart is beating.. only difference, without you. no more fights.
when your heart knows which way to go, it'll guide you along. independance is a hard road to go. but i'll achieve more. for what comes to an end, it's another beginning.
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