Living asleep

Growing up

2008-09-22T06:24:00.001-07:00

New year 08. Xue, min and me.

We were on our way to the hotel.
Bright o!
This, I forgot to post.

Taken from her hand phone.

She took my photo.

And another.

Another. She looks cute~!

Spectacle of Joseph can?

The class gathering in Sentosa that got me chao ta.
Me and min

It was scorching bright.
And huiting wanted to join us.. but cheek!
Photo taken.

So we have decided to take another.

Aren't they sweet!!

Mrs Ng so cute~ We will do our best!

They are so cute~!
We love you! And we saw the wishes!

Thank you juniors!

That's the whole wishes from the school outside the general office.
Thank you juniors!

Ah~! I caught you!

They were enjoying themselves inside the restaurant of the boat.

Lols. Vermon is drinking.

So I came back zilian-ing

The full view of my dressing.

My brother's hoodies.

And..

I looked rather dejected, do i?

My final piece is finally willing to take the plane to Cambridge.
And thereby, I show you my picture that I've been working so hard for.
And complaining so long for.

I can't find any reason why I like you so much.
There are plenty of reasons that I'm attracted to you.
I can name it all..

What is love?
Nothingness and everything..
Still, that girl in your eyes has yet to grow up..

She still stands beside and seriously telling you, I like you.
Maybe her words are taken as a kid telling jokes..
Apologies..

I handed up my final.
Great..
And I have some photos in the water boat restaurant.

Got to work harder for every other thing.
I certainly hope I get good grades.

And I hope I grow up one day..

Brotherhood

2008-09-20T11:04:00.001-07:00

There has been a lot going through my head..
Am I over-sensitive?
But I have got a strong feeling about it..
Thanks for everything..

I understand it too..
How long has it been since we're friends.?
So you try to keep a distance when I feel hopeful
This is not cruel to me..
But helping me to understand the situation.

Souvenir of love
Copied the notes for you, knitted the scarf for you
You praise me for my attentiveness.
The seat near the window, the milk tea with ice
I took notice of it for you.

Special raincoat, goodnight messages
Is your care for me.
I always thought that you are the eternal love.

Why are you so quiet when it comes to me
But caring towards her
No more cards, no more reasons for messages
It was an extreme cold shoulder.

Someone says when we grow up, love will change
All it left was echoes.
Until that day, I saw your perseverance
Then I believe..

So your heart is empty inside
That's why she can win your heart so easily.
I don't have ability and is a coward
I pretended that I don't mind

So my heart is empty inside
Still retaining the memories that has you
This is a souvenir of love.

To be honest, you helped me to grow up.
Everything about you is vivid..
And it plays like the cassettes..
Rewinding and playing repeatedly..

Maybe time isn't right yet.
I can't request anything either.
Or maybe never possible.

You are still the "teacher" of mine.
Still the one I respect with high esteem.

I can't get the thoughts you're having through guessing.
I can only persevere through my ways..
I can only support you morally when you encounter problems..
I can only lend you my ears when you need.
I can only watch you from this distance to make sure you're doing fine.

But.. I am only here.. this is what I can do..
Maybe, like you, I need more time to think through.
1 year, 2 years, 3 years.. I don't know..
Sigh..

At times like this.. I want to give up everything..
But I know, I can't.

I said I wanted to hold on..
But it means to say that I have to work harder to hold on.
Be reminded that I'm not the only person who is choosing someone.
But people are choosing me too.

Besides, I always knew that you're too good for me.
It's me who really doesn't suit to stand beside you.
In terms of all aspects, you have every rights.
In anyway, thanks for taking care of me all the while.

Nothing can change how I think..
You're still the one..
I always think about.

She has gently placed her hands on the face.
Looking into the eyes, she only sees him..
Every brotherhood tries to get close.. with that ulterior motive.
Won't he just shun?
Or it is just a shoulder to lean on..?
Why indulge her?

She sat on the seat, thinking through..
In daze..
It was him. No one else..

She escaped his eye..
He seemed to understand it all through..
Still she put up her front..
To show she can make it through to make sure people say she's fine.

The smiles are all..you gave.
I'm only a friend.

Character

2008-09-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

What Stellalimpeisien Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.

Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.

Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Spot on!! I'm this kind of person. LOLS.
Well, what kind of person are you?

Sounds like I'm so prone to anything.. Lols.
Named out my good and bad. Opps.

My story

2008-09-18T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm still wondering..
Can chemistry be nurtured?
Or it is only to own self at the sight of discovered beauty.?

Everyday, conversation after another..
Does it call "nurturing"?
Well, am I waiting for something that has a return?

It's perfectly fine.. Isn't it?
I got another secret to say..
"You're just a friend" isn't it?

It may just be a 2 months friendship,
But.. I know how it feels here..

3 years ago.. The same thing happened.
Liked a person whom I got to know..
In the end, I realized it was the chemistry that is.

3 years later, the history is telling a story again.
This time, whether it is a repeat or a twisted story, I have yet to know..
Well, maybe one day, you have found out how you felt.
Tell me..?
For once.. Have I ever stood a place or stood a chance?

Nevertheless, I'm still standing firm.
Girls are sensitive.

Silly girl..

Hey.. Terrible.. My work is unfinished.. I better get going.. byebye~

My reward

2008-09-16T02:59:00.000-07:00

I realized this..
I was being a bad person..
Why the attitude..?
It's unexplainable..

My dear, this is honestly pure cruelty to myself.
Ill-treating myself.
That's very cute..
I think I know..

"Afraid to gain too much happiness because I afraid to lose it."
So.. I refrained myself from happiness? (again?)

Or what..
Stella was very happy..

It doesn't mean I'll give up this easily..
I left this opportunity to decide..
Dilemma?

A secret..
I confessed to my own feelings.
It will only direct to hurt the old injuries that I called it scars.
Was told to be ugly duckling that never grow to be swan.
Was told to be that not lovable person because of who I am.
So I tried hard to change for others.
But forgot myself.

Hey girl,
Deep in heart, we all know it well.
This is not it..
I'm just trying to seep into my emotional self again.
So I need to snap out of it.

Dilemma because I realized just one big factor enough to cover everything.
What if people of the same kind suddenly had a difference.?
To accept? Or to let go?
This major factor affects not only myself..
I'm contradicting myself.

I honestly wish to continue liking someone.
Just.. Maybe, I'm a coward..
Backing off..
Besides, which rights do I have to feel that someone should reciprocate how I felt?

But that doesn't ends everything.
I want to say that.. I'm not giving up..
This time, I want to earn myself something.
That faith that I'm trying to venture.
That courage I don't have and used to back off
And that applaud as my reward.

So.. Let me continue, I say..
If I want to earn something, I have to suffer.
And even if the thing I want to obtain may not be the final I will get,
There is no regret.

Every choices has consequences.
Since I set my mind to it, I will do it.

Lastly, my result simply is "sweet".
To get what I want..
I will put in sufficient or more than what it needs to get what I want..
This is earning myself something..

Apology to someone whom I had given "cold shoulder".
I just need time to think carefully and sort things out.. =D

A place I wanna be.

2008-09-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Something is telling me that..
"It's nothing actually.. No worries."
But you know..
"actually it is.. It's just like a firework.."
The moment paused to enjoy the scenery..
Woosh.. it's gone.

I like the feeling of fallen leaves.
The times when you walk through the path so peacefully.
Tilting your head a little down and close your eyes with that sweetest smile on your face.
The orange sun shone on the paths, through the trees creating patterns on the ground.
The warmth orange light just touches your face so gently..

Or the moments when you look out of the window with the blanket covering you to provide you with warmth while the rain goes "tapping" on the ground.
The shelter we has..
The urge to play with the rain, holding onto the umbrella..
Turn a round after another..
That transparent umbrella, seeing through..
That grayish sky dripping drops and drops of water on your umbrella..

Or the moments when there is a piece of grassland, having valleys and mountains in sight.
That winter like fluffy "Christmas trees" surrounding the back of grassland..
Lying down on the soft and fresh scent of flowers and greenery.
Looking at the sky.. feel and touch the sky before yourself.
When the cow goes moo-ing and the lambs goes meh-ing.

Just feel like hugging all these scenarios within my boundaries..
Then maybe I could try experience it..

Or maybe.. The morning before an infrastructure, that small man-made fountain, an empty bricks of grounds,
People are wearing thick furry clothes, walking from one place to another.
And here we go, walking pass this place where all pigeons seemed to have agreed to meet up in this particular place.
That haughty me, was too eager to enter the grand infrastructure, maybe a clock tower when the pigeons all flew in a circular formation up the sky.
Few feathers just dropped and land on the ground while I turned back to ask people to come along..
I can just picture how grand it would be, if the night comes and it turned into bustling royal city.
People taking pictures and the orange lights like fireflies lit up everywhere..
Outside the tower and everywhere, the bridge.. Maybe..

Woah~ How did I come up with so many imaginations?
Well, I don't know too..
They just came up.

Maybe I'll draw them out one day. =P
This is called the.. "a place I wanna be."

Cute Quiz

2008-09-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

1) Who was your last text from?
Eileen! My beloved sharing woes and weals(o level) junior. XD

2) Does your crush like you back?
Umm!! Pending.. EH!! Not crush.. Maybe no.

3) What is your current mood?
Super joyous! Preliminary end le! I want ice-cream! =D

4) What is your sisters' name?
Rebb, Winnie, Jessie, Qian, Xue, Min, Hui, Raychel, Eileen, Shiwen jiejie, a lot eh..
Can put my nuers' name down too?

5) What is your favourite colour?
Baby blue, Black, White, Brown, Milky white,
Greenish yellow(that of a leaf), Maple leaf red and the rainbow!

6) Do you have a crazy side?
Umm.. Lost rationality when it comes to excess sugar?
Let's have sweets party!! XD
Jiejie says: Crazy girl..

7) Ever had a near death experience?
Maybe.? When I "drove" my car and use the phone at the same time?
No.. Is when I bleed because of the apple I cut!

8) Something you do a lot?
Crap, talk, laugh, cry, hyper, umm, indulgence in turning around can?

9) Angry at someone?
Sometimes? I don't want~ > < wrinkle eh~

10) Do you want to see somebody right now?
No.! Not "Somebody"~ probably him? AND long-lost friends, .....Qian.

11) When is the last time you cried?
2 days ago.

12) Who would you do anything for?
That drink?? Non-carbonated ma~ lols. Is my family.

13) What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first?
Eyes? That soul..

14) Where's your friend at and what are they doing?
Hmm.. Sleeping? Hahas. Don't know ah~

15) Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
YES! I'm the Ceo of Xiaohai club, you know?
To update myself with my subordinates' news. XD

16) What are you drinking or eating at the moment?
Drinking water.. EHH~~

17) Do you speak any other languages?
English, Chinese, Maths.. EHH~~ Wrong..
Dialect, Japanese(VERY little), Malay ma? Indian.. umm.. HAHAS..

18) How much money is there in your wallet?
200 billions. Believe? Can you stuff so much in???
No robbers like me.. XP

19) Describe your life in one word.
Dramatic.

20) If you are a guy. Have you circumcise?
SHE ME LAI DE??? Foreign language..
Oh.. Jiejie says is a No.

21) What are you thinking about right now?
Why? It's why..

22) What should you be doing right now?
Studying or sleeping.. I had a sleepless last night. T-T

23) Who was the last person you have told I love you to?
JIEJIE!! I just told her.

24) Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Binhao. Laughs* In text.

25) Do you act differently in front of the person you like?
Maybe yes? Used to?
Now, Dream on!!! Accept that this is me. =P

26) What is your natural hair colour?
Natural Asian Brown. ehh~~

27) Who was the last person to make you smile?
Jiejie~! =P But wait.. I smile to everyone eh..

What a cute Quiz~ So interesting.. =P

School? Not.

2008-09-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's a holiday again..
I slept for 12 hours.
Woah..

Should I go to school to study?
Though I don't have to go.

I'm hungry.

When my youngest brother says sarcastic remarks about people,
I feel terribly irritated.
Because his every word seemed to just hurt people's pride directly.
More importantly, my parents agrees with..

Which made me even more dislike him..
That I don't want to talk to him..

And sometimes the thing he does, don't seemed to consider for people.
Sigh..
If he could just mind his words, he is definitely a lovable brother.
Or should I accept that nature of him?

Sigh.. Why did my mother just look away and ignore what I have told her about this problem.?
Is because she agrees too?
Or is it there is nothing she could do?
Or is it she thinks it's perfectly fine?

Aww.. I find myself a bad sister.
Maybe, I should become a better sister.

So should go to school?
Well, laughs..
Probably later..

Jiejie! I'm coming.. heh..

Who is in the lala world?
Lala world, lala world
Who is in the lala world?
it's lala, you and me..

Opps.. A kid.

reflection

2008-09-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry..
Sometimes.. there is no rights for me..
Shouldn't like someone.
Maybe, I might just bring harm to them..

Or should I take care before wanting someone beside myself?
I laugh till relapse..
Remarkable.

I really.. don't wish to make other people to suffer with me too..

Meanwhile, Stella work harder to be a better person.
Honestly..

Bubbly

2008-09-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I feel lethargic.
I am happier.
Elroy treat me ice-cream yesterday~
Laughs..
Though I'm having fever.
But his funny and weird reactions made my day.

Maybe ice-cream and chocolate is my only cure.
Laughs..

I presume I'm ill..
Mentally..
Maybe I'm condemning myself.

Wee.. Throw all things aside.
I talked to xue xue for 1 hour.
Feel bad actually.
Her hour to study.
Thank you for listening to me. =)

I think Fries is still angry with me.
Maybe, I'm too unappreciative.
Maybe, I refused to be save from misery.
He has no reasons to help me either. =)

But my motivations are all around!
Qianyong is coming back in 3 months time.
There truly are a lot of things that I've yet to experience. =P
Besides, Qian will heartbreak if she sees me in this state.
And Jessie~ and Winnie.
And my family..
And so many.
Heh. I just minimizes my view so much.

Sighs~~
I want to rest so much..
Shoulders getting heavier each day..
Maybe! It will get lighter now and then!

I miss everyone~
I left 2 cones of ice-cream.
Poor thing.
I unreasonably demanded.
Heh..
Sorry~~

Mm.. Prelims over means no more fun.. Sigh.
Kind of sad too.
Opps.
Laughs. After O levels bas!

And.. I'm not angry about him flaring at me.
Since this is always what he does when I speak to him.
SO! I deleted him!
Then if he wants, talk to me.
If not, then we'll never talk.
It's not like I'm bad.
Just think that getting angry of me just made him feel worse.
Might as well not talk and don't know if he is there~
Laughs.
That's a very efficient way.

I want some more Ice cream..
=P

Opps.
I forgot my lunch..
I want to sing..~
Ai no Uta.
Super nice song seh~!

Who want listen?
Laughs.. Joking~

Jaslyn, Happier okay?
You have got me!

Mm..What else..
Go study bas.. Talk next time.~!

Confusion

2008-09-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry.. There's nothing I can do..
So friends, don't get too close here.
You'll get hurt.

I'm like a burning flame.
Anyone who comes closer get injured.
Maybe I've gone berserk.

It's the tears my eyes are filled with.
I can do nothing but hurt anyone.

I've succeeded confusing you..
And the same goes..
You have succeeded telling me the cruel fact.
How crazy I am now..

no one can help.
I could only derives happiness from my ice-cream..
That sweetness I longed.

So regrettable.
I hurt people I didn't want to.

Shh..
The only reason why I don't want you to find out what's inside.
Not to expose my secret is..
I just want to save this smallest corner for myself.

I'm happy, but what is happiness?

Lost

2008-09-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Don't treat me too well.
Because I may not be able to treat you as well as you do.
Don't try to read my mind.
Because I want to keep myself within.

Just at times, I think.
People like me is too scary.
You can't distinguish who you are.
That myself I never know.
Until one day.

I feel bad, feel lost.
I don't know where I'm heading either.
Maybe, I lost my trust.

Because of the past.

I just want to find someone reliable.
To hear me..
I can't expect anyone to trust my words 100%
But I just want them to trust what I say.

When I tell the truth, no one believed.
When I tell a lie, everyone else believed.

Staying what I am now,
Only makes me sink deeper.

I just need a word of trust.
To trust myself for once.
To trust others for once.

Thank you so much.
For being there when I need a pair of listening ears.
I can no longer differentiate what is love and what is friendship.
The only thing I know is..
I don't want to lose it.
Sorry for being selfish.

I miss Qian.
She's the only one who trust me completely.
Whatever I said..
100%.

I say that people are selfish.
But the most selfish one is right here.

I shivered.
At the sight of every move.
I killed myself instantly.
That bleeding wound.
Bloody knife..
Evil smile.
All myself.
That handful of blood..
Dripping bit by bit.
In front of the mirror.
Nothing I can hide.

A person like this.. worth?
I can't see your face..
I only see that quiet you crying..
Hush..
Just a hug..
Our surroundings..turned bright..
No more darkness, you are kept within..
I just want to see the blue sky that has every parts to be happier..

It's okay..
I'm still well and alive. I just want to be happy.

My song for you

2008-09-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

My song for you [Fukui Mai]

kyou mo anata wo omotte naite shimatta yo
kono basho ni suwatte warai sakebi hanashita ne
moshi haruka ano aoi sora karamiteru nara
kara mawatteru watashi ni waratteru koto deshou

issho ni iru to kanashii koto mo
hanbun ni natte
itsumo saigo ni wa
waratteta watashi ga ita no ni
ima de wa... ima de wa... 

anata ni ae nakute
taihen nanda yo
namida ga tomara nakute
hageshiku furisosoi da ame wo kanjite
tada utau dake
Here's my song for you

tsuini watashi mo anata to ita machi hanarete
katariatta yume kanaeru tame ni ganbaru kara
douka watashi ga jibun ni make sou ni nattara
itsumo no you ni tokui no mahou no kotoba kakete ne

nanika ureshii koto ga aru to
anata ni massaki ni tsutae taku naru
mujaki ni hashagu sono egao de
ureshisa ga hyakubai ni naru kara

anata ni aenakute
taihen nanda yo
namida ga tomara nakute

dakedo naite bakkari inaide
anata ni todoku you ni
sora ni utau yo
Here's my song for you

kanashii ni nante make takunai yo zettai
Cause I have a Dream of my own
ano hi katariatta yume ga
jibun to no yakusoku ni natte
watashi wo tsuyoku suru

anata ni aenakute mo
anata ni furerarenakute mo
kokoro wa tsunagatteru zutto
jinsei wa ikkai dake de
ima wa ima shikanai kara
jibun rashiku
waratte ikiteku yo

watashi mo aishiteru yo
anata ni deaete kara no mainichi ga
tanoshikatta arigatou
I miss you very very very much
How are you doing
I'm doing alright, still
and I'm gonna be alright today

mata, aeru hi made...


今日もあなたを想って泣いてしまったよ
この場所に座って笑い叫び話したね
もし遥かあの青い空から見てるなら
からまわってる私に笑ってることでしょう

一緒にいると悲しい事も半分になって
いつも最後には
笑ってた私がいたのに
今では…

あなたに会えなくて
大変なんだよ
涙が止まらなくて
激しく降り注いだ雨を感じて
ただ歌うだけ
Here's my song for you

ついに私もあなたといた街離れて
語り合った夢叶えるために頑張るから
どうか私が自分に負けそうになったら
いつものように得意の
魔法の言葉かけてね

何か嬉しい事があると
あなたに真っ先に伝えたくなる
無邪気にはしゃぐその笑顔で
嬉しさが100倍になるから

あなたに会えなくて
大変なんだよ
涙が止まらなくて
だけど泣いてばっかりいないで
あなたに届くように
空に歌うよ
Here's my song for you

悲しいになんて負けたくないよ　絶対
I have a Dream of my own
あの日語りあった夢が
自分との約束になって
私を強くする

あなたに会えなくても
あなたに触れられなくても
心は繋がってる　ずっと
人生は1回だけで
今は今しかないから
自分らしく笑って生きてくよ

私も愛してるよ
あなたに出会えてからの毎日が
楽しかった　ありがとう
I miss you very very very much
How are you doing
I'm doing alright, still
and I'm gonna be alright today

又、逢える日まで…

アイのうた

2008-09-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

アイのうた lyrics

Yasashii kaze ga fuku itsumo no michi de
Anata ni ae rutoka sonna koto de ii
Chiisa na kodou no yure ga omoi ni kasanari
Shizuka ni toke runo o tada matte iru
Hito wa doushite kotae o motome runo?
Watashi wa korede shiawase nano ni shiawase nano ni

Ai no uta ga ki koe tanda
Sore wa chiisa na ai ga
Hohoemu youni yori sou youna
Yasashii oto gashita
Toki wa nagare yume wa nagare
Ironnakatachi kawa ttemo
Anata ga tada koko ni ireba sore dake de ii

Anata no yobu koe ni kiduku toki ni wa
Ushi ta mono ni tada te o noba sudake
Toki wa doushite owari o tsuge runo?
Egai ta ima wa ashita no sora ni tsudui te iru no ni

Ai no uta ga ki koe tanda
Sore wa chiisa na ai ga
Hitotsu hitotsu matataku youna
Itoshii oto gashita
Toki to tomoni ano nichi no hoshi
Namida de nagare teshimattemo
Anata ga tada koko ni ireba sore dakede ii

Negai wa tokini tooku
Muri ni tsukamo utoshitemo
Te moto o suri nuke te yuku kedo
Sono mama kie te yuku youna
Ooki namonoyori
Chiisa na ai ni kidu keba

Itsuka toki ga hana o saka shi
Yagate ooki na ai ga
Utau youni kanade ru youni
Futari o tsutsumu darou

Ai no uta ga ki koe tanda
Sore wa chiisa na ai ga
Hohoemu youni yori sou youna
Yasashii oto gashita
Toki wa nagare yume wa nagare
Ironnakatachi kawa ttemo
Anata ga tada koko ni ireba sore dakede ii
Anata ga ite soba de warau sore dakede ii

優しい風が吹く　いつもの道で
あなたに会えるとか　そんなことでいい
小さな鼓動の揺れが　想いに重なり
静かに溶けるのを　ただ待っている

人はどうして　答えを求めるの？
わたしはこれで　幸せなのに　幸せなのに

アイのうたが　聴こえたんだ
それは　小さなアイが
微笑むように　寄り添うような
優しい音がした
時は流れ　夢は流れ
いろんなかたち　変わっても
あなたがただ　ここにいれば　それだけでいい

あなたの呼ぶ声に　気づくときには
失した物に　ただ手を伸ばすだけ

時はどうして　終わりを告げるの？
描いた今は　明日の空に続いているのに

アイのうたが　聴こえたんだ
それは　小さなアイが
一つ一つ　瞬くような
愛しい音がした
時と共に　あの日の星
涙で流れてしまっても
あなたがただ　ここにいれば　それだけでいい

願いは　時に遠く
無理に掴もうとしても
手元をすり抜けてゆくけど
そのまま　消えてゆくような
大きなものより
小さなアイに　気づけば

いつか時が　花を咲かし
やがて大きなアイが
歌うように　奏でるように
二人を包むだろう

アイのうたが　聴こえたんだ
それは　小さなアイが
微笑むように　寄り添うような
優しい音がした
時は流れ　夢は流れ
いろんなかたち　変わっても
あなたがただ　ここにいれば　それだけでいい
あなたがいて　そばで笑う　それだけでいい

The gentle wind always blows on the same road
I want to meet you, but is it possible for such a thing
There’s small heart beats our feelings will overlap
Just waiting for them to dissolve gently into each other

Why do people want answers?
I’m happy, but what is happiness

Can you hear the Song of Love
It’s a small love
In order to smile, it seems we’re drawn close
By your kind voice
Time flows, dreams flow
They change various shapes
It’ll be fine, right here with you

You become aware of the voice that you’re calling
I reach my hand out to the things I lost

Why does this mark the end of time?
But I still continue to follow the sky of tomorrow

Can you hear the Song of Love
It’s a small love
Winking one by one
The sound is dear
During that day with the stars
Tears flowed out
It’ll be fine, right here with you

It’s sometimes a distant hope
Probably trying to grasp unreasonably
Laboring with my hands, gradually
It’s diminishing
If you become more aware in a small love
Rather than a big one

A great love forms
Someday when the flowers are blooming
In order to sing, In order to play
The two of us will be close

Can you hear the Song of Love
It’s a small love
In order to smile, it seems we’re drawn close
By your kind voice
Time flows, dreams flow
They change various shapes
It’ll be fine, right here with you
I’ll laugh, right here with you

Truth

2008-09-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

Deeply regrettable, without Qian,
I'm like a blind man without walking sticks.
She stands an important place more than anyone does other than my family.
Sigh.. I wish I can confide her again.

Apologetic.
I made someone upset,
though not to the extent that the person thoroughly feels irritated,
but still it is. I'll take note.
At times, it's ridiculous of myself to just burst into sorrow tears.
Understandable, I'm the most eccentric girl than other girls who thinks normally.
Apology to the person and others.

Well, I'm concerned. Jaslyn should be fine, I presume?
Take care k?
Thanks guys. For taking care of me.
Appreciated..

It's awkward.
But I'm speaking twenty-six to twenty-one.
Because I think I seemed to have overreacted.
In terms of answering the question.

A girl who has truth before her eyes
Simply treat it a runaway.
Do not show it before the one
Until she sees it a green light.

It was simple and blunt
As protective towards herself a cactus
She starts her way of reasons
But it never got it through.

Though it seems like answer of the positive
She takes the negative.
No possible answer just a maybe, probably and or never.

Could you say never..
Since you don't know the within
Thus shall has dead heart

Nothing but the truth, nothing but the truth
You just kept within
She wants ignore it through.

No answer, no question.
Let's go back to where we were.

Therefore, simple.
I was just seeking for an answer to that of a reaction
Answer me what is the love.
Or admiration.

Was that your impulse of moment
Or that of my blunder?

Nevertheless, I shall keep it away first.
Even it's love
This is my secret forever.

No wonder she says royals.
Now I understand what you meant.
Qian, I miss you.

My thoughts..
Fickle.
Maybe one day,
You has an answer
You clear my doubts.

Gosh I'm having heavy flu.
It is freezing.
And a temperature might be running inside.

Hooray! Finally watched my Wall E
I've been waiting this show for so so long.
Thanks guys for watching with me~!
HEH.

All right.
This is it.
That 3 figures.
Were waving.
But could not find them there.

I know there are no ulterior motive
I just happened to be the one to see them.
I don't fear you.
In fact, I went to find.

I think I met them,
But I can't see them.
Except from far.
I was cold that place.

But when I went to the same spot.
They waved again and disappear.

Call me crazy.
It just happen that my frequency click with them.

I love this song.
VERY MUCH~!
Mm.. Has nostalgia.
Don't ask me why..
I just fell for this song.
Just like how I fell for you.
I don't need your answer.
Just be yourself.
That's all I need. =')

Blabber last

2008-08-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

Sudden sentiment by the song.
"distance"

Everyone is selfish..
It's just the feeling that you wanted the other party to retain for you.
But has anyone given a thought for those admirers?
That they suffer..

Seeing our loved ones getting close to another rival?
Silly, so we all walked away..
Give all your attention to your loved ones or rather you don't have,
Stop holding onto the feeling of being admired..
Because you are not someone who really smitten everyone in the world..

Pardon me from the rudeness..
I just think that it's time to wake up for those who are selfish.

What's the meaning behind all those pursues?
Why the distance so far?
Why give so much and get hurt all over.?
The law says, "The effort you have given doesn't equivalent to the result you want."

Mind you, I'm not upset ah~
I'm just feeling sad for other people.. They are so pitiful..

Sigh sigh..
49 days, 7 weeks away from my "O" levels.
The third hundredth post already.

Thanks Jason!
Heh~ I studied OH~!
So is the treat still on? Heh..
=P

These days, all my teachers are concerned about my Exam.
Seems like they are more anxious than I do.
Thank you teachers~!
Including Jason~!

Aww.. Getting too concentrated with work is like Potassium plus water, can?
Equivalent to explosion.. Laughs.

As ever.. I need to bar myself from computer.
This is just my last break before wearing full armour to fight that big "O" level monster.
Fine.. Let me blabber..
If not prepared, it's just like wearing nothing protective to fight it..
Result? Dead lo..
Haven't got to see how those games tell you Game Over?

Stella's crazy~
Fine..
Oh right..
My entry proof, no "Stella" already.. T-T

Call me Pei Sien!
Joking.. Laughs..
That's because I/C don't have Stella and Ez-link card and MOE record has it.

Sorry for being so cranky..
No blames~
I like this song.. 远距离
Long distance, that indescribable longing.

I think I need to be more responsible.
Seemed like I have no sense of time management.
Kept being late and delayed my friends' time.
Change..

Another thing.. Got to overcome that obstacle?
That shadow.
Maybe by then, I won't ever be this childish.
But presenting a cheerful person.

I laughed at every single thing, be it happy or not.
Craze.

Oh right, went for my cousin's solemnisation.
I jus realised how drifted away are we from every cousins we know.
except Kelvin.

It was at Watercross.. So cool..
Wedding at Beach.
I thought I wore like those "ah lians"
Next time don't wear until like that..

Show you some photos later.
Well, that was how I dressed then.
Now.. I prefer to be treated like an ordinary girl.
Those silly kind.
Suits me better..

We went for Vermon's birthday celebration at NUS cafe.

"aiya.. Busy chatting with someone la~"

I wanted to eat potato wedges so much after so many things I had.

Regrettable~ SO MUCH EAT ALONE~

Aloysius order a Banana split though.

AHH~ See Ms Kong left this note.

Later, she's quite furious. T-T

That was how I wore~

It's been long since I wear until like that though. =P

My beloved gorgor lent me his sunglasses.

And the 3 of us took together.

Later my father, rebb came along too~!

They wanted to take photo together. So cute~!

My gorgor and me~

That was kind of silly.

Then my brother took this photo for me.

HEY~ Don't mean to point it. I was just..

Pushing my specs

Vermon and me

Cheeching~!

You can imagine how short it is liao. T-T

So..

I continue to zilian~

Don't have to say, I also think I looked like Ah lian.. T-T

Happiness

2008-08-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be so upset anymore..
*Smile*

Qian left the best for me already..
I'm so touched..
She has left this morning..
Even though she had many people to attend to, it is more than enough for me to talk to her just for a moment.

I have successfully delivered the presents. =D
So juniors, Rest assured.!
She will be touched upon seeing it~

Oh right,
Winnie, don't be upset okay?
I brought your wishes along. =D
You still have me~! XD

Today was quite a busy day..
I had a mock exam in the morning.
Then rushed to the airport.
Then finally get back home for a rest.
Then I went to remedial.

English enrichment?
It was an Trial Oral Examination rather.
Then to Jerrome's birthday party.

How unhappy can I be..
Someone said, "Your happiness will return one day. Just remember all the memories in it."

Aren't myself a funny person.?
I always get very very upset and consoled myself the very next moment.

I will miss Qian.
But must reduce, I know she'll sense it.
I want her to be as happy..
So, I bring all happiness that she gave forward.
Maybe now, people should always know how to cherish everyone around them.
So that they will be as happy that they have the world's best friend by them.

Thank you, Qian.
I always wanted to tell you that you have left so much in the school..
So that I would lead happily for the rest of my days in school.
And I really did..
Thank you Qian..
Countless words to say to you..
That's where my "I love you" comes always~ =D
So in order spread her smile around, I must be happier. =D

Jerrome's birthday o~
LAUGH~~
I lost quite a number of rounds in game guessing.
Then our punishment was a mixed drink.
Aww.. They put BBQ sauce, tomato sauce, honey and soft drinks.
See! Sugar high!
I had a packet of chocolate before I came.. T-T
That's why I say, no excess sugar for me. =p

I disturbed Jason, Blake and Heng yu.
A lot. Crazy.. Laughs..
A little too cranky today~
I'm so sorry guys~

Soon, I'll get diabetes.. T-T
Thank you everyone!
I'm so happy today.

Not to mention, Min and Xue were concerned about me.. XD
Min even play with me.
Laughs..
Maybe, we should organize an outing as and when after we have graduated.
I really will miss them.

Tomorrow still has jamming.
Sigh.. Soon have to stop temporary.
What will my life be like without jamming?

Tomorrow drink medicine before I go.
Throat not well.
I find myself awkward!
See.. It's this late. And I'm here blogging. Zzz.

By the way, I took a lot of photos when we went to hotel~
It was a pleasant trip.
Xue went there with me..
Laughs..
Then we lost our way.

Anyway, we got there too..
Then had a nice buffet..
Take photos..
And together, we leave..
But then of different directions.

I went to Bookshop with a classmate.
Then found many many interesting books~
I love Times Bookshop!
Laughs~
"Secret" is still the best book..

Oh right, still has some self portrait.
LAUGHS~
This black devilish like outfit..
Laughs.
I thought so.

Let my hair grow longer..
Then I'll get more lady like.
Otherwise...

She was sms-ing when I...

She said that I took hers. So she also..

Eventually, she let me take one nice photo of her.

But when I take more, She covered her face. T-T

I looked fierce while she looked so adorable.

And she told me to take more. And we did..

Then Joseph changed his specs with me.
It's okay since his degree is almost the same as mine.

Xue?She said that both of us should try taking specs together.. Aren't she cool now?

Finally, she took Joseph specs and say "oh"

Then using my own specs. Doesn't I look like an absolute nerd?

This is Joseph. The one who always play with me in class.

So you get what I meant huh.. He is always this playful. And the guy who tries to disturb Joseph is Jiaxian.

Don't know why, but he seemed to like my specs a lot. He said.

Michelle and myself! She's also very humorous and she's quite close with min~

Cornelius, the English professional. I still remember how we became true friends. We fought. Opps!

Aloysius, he has been a schoolmate of mine for 10 years!!

Me, xue and Huiting. Huiting is a very sweet and pleasant girl o!

It was someone's birthday actually. Meisiew's? Ya.

This is Alicia and Xue.

Minmin and xue.

Luting and Alicia by my side. I find them nice in the picture.~

And so, They took picture together too.

Isaac.. He too plays with my specs. He looked so blur.

She is Fion. Her Basketball skills were great o~! Basketball team member!

This was another gathering photo.! heh.

Meiqi look pretty that day, don't she?

We went to washroom..

To wash up..

We can actually see how our outfit looks.

And since I'm here.. Might as well Zilian~

Well..

Mm!

Xinjie! My mathematics coach! He's the one who always teaches me too~

Jiaxian, one of my best buddies~

Vincent! Laughs.. He is a Japan animation fanatic~
Oh right, he's very gentleman.
He was too tall.. So he squat down. XD
Xue~took with him.. *laughs.

Mervin~A sec2 and 1 classmate

She took a photo with Mervin.

Huiyu! She looked very demure.. It's been quite long since I take photo with her.

This is a small group photo.
Left to right: Stella, Huiyu, Minmin, Luting and Xueyan.

Aaron.. He is an Npcc cadet.. Laughs.. He really like to tease people. =x

Xue and I took a photo with him.
Laughs. Hey! What with that wink?

TAta~ Elroy is my partner.! Laughs. Always bullied by me. =X

Raymond.. Laughs..
Can't imagine how shy he and yanyang can be..
He ran away right after taking photo la.. -_-

And Hi again..
Time to zilian.

Don't mistaken! I was really tired.. So took a rest.
I don't know my hand got taken too.. T-T

A point of view.. from high?

In a circumference. xp

Looking for something.
*siao ah.. Looking for things also take photo.*

Mm.. That necklace.. key, shines..
laughs* so unique.

Again.. I just lie down and rest..

Mm..

Smiles*

What?

Hees.

Right.. Had full meal. tip of finger..

Does it matter whether you see my face?

Mm.!

tata..~ A long dress..

The foundation and power made me look very pale.

Laughs!!

Boop~ Bubbles~

That glare.. What do you want..

Not happy with you look..

Still, there are serenade expression at times.

I hit onto something.. T-T

That's it~ We shall end here.
Oh.. Doesn't every the outfit look cool and.. dull?
I look like those.. Emotional and scary girl~
Cool..~

Escapade

2008-08-16T00:57:00.000-07:00

I've changed..drastically.
Who am I now..
Or is it.. a split personality..

I begin to doubt..
Are those smiles true happiness?
Or you fake it?

Why so sociable?
Back to the same point.
Introvert.

True hidden..girl in her own darkness..
Where is my happiness.?
I fake it?

It was only when a person say..
"Flirtatious"
That I know I've changed.

Cut off the rope then..
I'm losing myself anyway.

I don't even know how many I've hurt.
Why suppress?
I'm just another diabolic girl.
Getting away.
Escapism.

You don't even know why tears run down your cheeks.
You can't figure who you are.
You didn't know what the hell you're doing.
You just fake it away..
What are you hiding?

I simply misses..myself.
That self..
Not pretending to be anyone.
But myself..
So..stop running away..

Shall say later.

Come back soon~!

2008-08-14T03:34:00.000-07:00

I think the class is getting more and more bonded.
Or rather.. I mixed into them.
At least we can communicate?
Not as stiff as before.

Today, I see them play..
Seemed so fun~

Mrs Ng begin to be happy..
That's great!!
I was hoping that this "her" comes back
Yes!

Oh well, Qian's leaving so soon..
It's only 2 days away.. I feel like crying already..
I'll miss her..
I'll work hard..!!
Maybe I can get into the same school as her..

I'm in dilemma.
Well, not the time for it anyway~
As long as I work for 10 points.

Tired. Very~

ARTS ARHH!!!
I want to complete as much as I can..
Mm..
Nevermind..
Let me do the Anglican paper first..

HAHAS.. Jason so funny..

Anyway.. Jiayou working la~
*wipe perspiration.

WORK!

To Qian:
No matter how long you are going, Lala will wait for you.
Take care there okay?
I know you are going so far and I could hardly reach you..
But I'll miss you badly.

So do take grea care.. =D
You're forever the best friend in bottom of my heart no matter what.
Come back soon!
Daughters, me, wiie, jessie, minmin, xue and hui will wait for your return.. =D

Faces

2008-08-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Work~!!!
Drive me crazy..

Nevermind.
Well.. Pushing myself to the limit..
2 more months..
Next friday preliminary.
Next friday also my arts due.
What the..
I have yet to complete..
Stressed..

The O levels chinese result is out~
B3..
Congratulations!!!
This is the third time I'm getting a B3..!!!

Retake?
Maybe..

Confidence getting lower..
But energy getting greater..
I MUST SCORE!

Lols..
Sigh..

It's not just that I choose you.
But you are also choosing me or not..

What does hides behind a pretty face?
What about an ugly face with ugly heart?

Disguise in mist.
Maybe.. We are all not understandable among people.
Because everyone has a switch, hidden character that no one sees.
Only when one is alone.. in certain circumstances.. They see people aboard.

So what hides behind the pretty face of yours?

Jamming day

2008-08-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy..
Laughs..
Jamming just ended.
But I fared badly.. T-T

Suffer from sore throat.
Sigh.. Retribution ah~~

I kept talking in very blunt way that I may have hurt people.
NOTICE WHAT I'M SAYING BEFORE SPELLING THEM OUT..

After an experience actually, I value my life.
Start to love myself too.
Actually, I felt guilty.
That I once thought that I'm redundant.

Proves me wrong.
I have Xue, Min, Winnie, Qian and Jessie who stood by me when I have problems.
Even Shiwen jiejie and more that I've yet to mention..

*smile.*
The silliest thing to do is to stop yourself from continuing find the meaning behind your life.
Because you are desperate.
Because you think that the world don't need you.
Because you think that everyone may not believe you..
Prove them wrong.

More importantly, the meaning behind a life is so wide.
How many chances are people given of in their lives?
Countless..
Is the matter whether we give ourselves another chance to find out.
So smile again..
Why do you struggle in incidents when you wish to die?
Because you want to survive..
To go on.
Then why have that silly thoughts?

Mm~! Right.
Maybe in a moment of folly.
Think twice before acting~
Thank goodness, I'm still here to see my beloved friends~

Thank you every of my friends.
For standing by me.

Oh right. Let me talk about today..
Today, we've got special guest.
Fries came.
To learn from my shifu!!!
Jason~~~

AH! Jason changed his looks..
Not quite used to it.
No more long hair.. All short. =(
But okay la~~ His look like that also very cute.
He looked very blur like that eh~
LAUGHS..
Mm. Thank you Jason.
For helping me to attend to my friend.
Laughs.
I must admit.. I'm always a bad host.
Cos' I really do not know how to entertain them.
Bu hao yi si. Thanks Jason~!!

Blake's hand got injured..
Silly.. How come did not take good care.?
He has not slept well last night either.
So today, super no energy and emotional.
But as usual, after jamming, he would still play with me.
Eh!! Snatched Jason lent me his favorite drumsticks..
Laughs.
So fun.. I bullied him the whole day.. XD

Then, Xue sang with me~!!
I'm so touched.
Sore throat.. So I need help. =D
I'm so so looking forward to see Xue in her dress~!!!
She'll be the princess for tomorrow..
Laughs.

Jerrome as usual..
"EQ!! EQ!!"
Laughs.
But thanks to him, I was able to sing better.
Cos' not too loud.

Hengyu.. Zzzz.
He is always sitting in one corner and play his..
Firebird? Thunderbird?
Laughs..
Guitar.

Got a new person!!
Jason Tan. Laughs!!
Same name and surname as Jason.
He is the guitarist..
Wow. His guitar skills are superb!!!
He learnt the song today and played very well of the song today.!
I showed him my thumbs.
Then he did humble gestures.
Oh, he's Jerrome's shifu~
No wonder is Shifu.. T-T

And some 100% idiotproof bandmates~
Laughs.
That's so cute~

My brother came too~!!
Moral support..
HEH..
He sang sha shou.
Finally.. And was praised~

Need more practices for me.

Finally.. Jason called me just now..
That was funny.
He called me and my phone went flat.
After charging, I called him again to apologise.
He said he was talking to his mother.
Then he told me to hang on. "hang off"
Zzzz.. The phone indicated.. "on hold."
And I pushed the wrong button.

Finally, he called and told me to call.
And talked about band.
Sing.. and shout.. Quite different.
Maybe we'll make changes?

That's so hilarious.

After that, I was talking to Blake on msn..
Laughs.
His broadband hang off on him.
Laughs.
Well, so we didn't talk much too.

Then I was talking to Wee Ching too~
He worked hard.. and we discussed about band's name.
Seems like we have very different thinking.
I would prefer something simple and complicated.
He would prefer something strong.
Aww.
Anyway.. Work hard!! We wait for you to come back.

That's about today's event~

Someone says "give up".

When I look at you, you did not notice.
The pair of eyes and ears were noticing you so tentatively.
To see and hear you play the loud music perfectly.
When I comfort you, you did not respond.
You simply concentrated on your instrument.
A smile was shown to cheer you up with the least bit of comfort.

I didn't know what I was thinking either.
But one thing I know for sure..
You didn't know what it says..
I wanted to find out what yours says.
However, the dilemma me, didn't know if I stand somewhere in yours too.

National day

2008-08-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Wahahahahhaha~~~!!!
4am le~~!!
And I'm still not asleep!!

Lols.. Tomorrow going to jamming.
Waa.. I'm so tired.

Lols..
My vision not good today..
So.. I wear specs..
Aww.. Look super nerd..

I talked to a new friend called "Fries"
Zzzz..
This friend is a decade older than me.
Well, he's a super smiliar in character as mine.
Lols.. Well, cool..

But I'm a little colder than him.
Hahas. Interesting..

AHHH~~~ Jason is out~~~
So happy..
Wish he can come out everytime..
Then can come to jamming.
We have a drummer liaos.
But hopefully,

And.. Jerrome bought xue xue dresses..
Hahas.. Then my xuexue will look like a princess..
Hahas.. I looked forward to Monday.

I threatened Blake that I bite off his fingers to feed me.
Lols.. He is so funny..
Wahahaha..
I bullying him again~
Lols.~

Mm.. I wanted to rest soon..
Opps.. Hahas.

Mm.. Today is National Day..
Happy birthday Singapore.! <3

Optimistic day~

2008-08-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

Waa..
Tired.
Going to hospital later.

I have to go soon~

Mm.. These days a little not smooth.
Very lethargic.

Thanks min and xue..
Hahas.. Silly of you guys to cry with me.
Cry, not pretty~
It will be fine if I cry by myself.
Hahas.

Actually, You guys are really true sisters~ heh.

Mm.. Jiayou in studies bas~
No matter how hard it is to achieve the goals,
We can do it if we believe.

"You just need to work smart other than work hard."
=D

Aww tired~
Who's fault ah?
Lols..

I waited for a call.. T-T

Anyway, I feel that..
Mm.. Should have keep it closed and untold.
I'm giving up.
It is a very tough task.
Plus, with royals, will die.
And who am I to..?

Sigh..
Staying like that would be best~!
At least, I'm still that childish, young little sister whom everyone thinks~

Lols.. Only 3 to 4 people would understand what I'm writing~ Muahahaha~

I want to make it to eat with you guys~!!!
I mean my class.
They are going Sakae EH~!!
It has been long since I go out with the class~ T-T

Nevermind, Monday still has another time.
To hotel!!! Have lunch with teachers~!

YEAH~~!! JASON COMING FINALLY.
Zhen shi de... MIA for so long.
Hahas..
Come to think of it.. I didn't sms someone for almost a week~!
Wahahahahahhas.

Band band~~
lols..
By the way~ I practiced le~
Improve in the volume le~
Prepared to fight the war to sing loud and high pitch~ heh.. =D
Watch me~!!
LOLS

Sigh~~ Hao lei~
Okay la~~ Need to prepare to see doctor le~
Buais~

Note: Sobs.. I wasn't able to attend National celebration the last time with school..

Work hard~ =D

Jams and upcoming agenda

2008-08-04T02:31:00.000-07:00

Well, time is running out. =(
I don't have much time left..
It's just about 2 months away from my "o" levels.

Mm yesterday, I went jamming.
Mm.. Hees.. I presumed this is the first time we play truant so long?
As in, referring to Blake and me.
"Ignoring each other"
I thought he was really angry..
But turned out that he wasn't.

Glad~!
This time was full band!
I'm so happy..
Thanks to Hengyu and Glenn..
This is the first time I see Glenn..
Hajimemashita~

Anyway, Glenn's friend.. Don't know what is his name..
Came to substitute Jason for the day..

But I must admit..
This time with full band, it was loud.
I have to sing louder!
Then result?
I got a little throat discomfort.
Maybe I was practically singing with my throat and forget the right way to sing.

Oh well. I have to sing louder with this pitch.
But the standard is not there.. Aww.. Challenging.

Yesterday, I was quite haughty..
Teased Hengyu and Blake.
More to Blake though..
Cos' he's more fun..

Thanks Blake..
Hees.. At least.. I was very happy that day..!
Vermon came for Jamming too..
Perhaps he has to work a little harder for Jap song if he wants to be vocalist.
Sigh.. He's too new to Jap song.
Hard work will pay off.. =D

I miss Jason!
He smsed me..
I mistook him as blake's sms.
Opps.. And reply wrongly..
Well.. That just sound like how blake would say.

If I know the one who sms me is Jason, I will call him right away..
Lols. That's because I haven't hear from him for so long..

Sigh.. Another bad news was..
The day falls on friday.
I truly hope that it won't affect my vocal.

My apologies everyone.. For being blunt these days.
I'll take note of that and change.

What's more..?
Oh right.. Sorry Xue.. Was talking to min..
Well, I wished I could tell you this too.. very much.
Just that.. Too close.. I can't say anything because it was simply too close.
I'm divulging too much already. Lols.

Something..that comes as a whole,
Will perfect as a whole.

ALL RIGHT!!
My homework!!!
And due for arts?? THIS WEEK, THURSDAY!!!
I'm so dead.. Bound to sleep late.. T-T

Maybe one day.. When I'm ready..

Gosh.. Memories deteriorating rapidly.
I could forget what I had done a second ago.
Terrible..
Maybe I should train my mind.
Or maybe.. I got too stressed..
Over-exerting my health that I am not as nimble as before.

I frightened someone when I dropped my thing without knowing.
Agility problem. HAHAS..
I sounded like an old women!
Oh well.. Seeing doctor soon..
What is there to say more about it?
Let the doctor say his piece of words~
I'll be bring good news after consultation that I'm absolutely all right.

Results for "o" levels chinese is releasing soon..
Everyone in NCHS.. Get A1~!
YEAH!

Mm.. 16th August.coming soon..
Qian qian leaving..
I'll miss you.
I would see you off! =D

And Jerrome's birthday celebration.
What a mixed feeling..
Well.. I can see the joy coming up already.

ALL RIGHT!! I don't have much time left.. BYEBYE~
I'll update soon.

Frustrate

2008-08-01T23:23:00.000-07:00

Mm.. Finally can online le.
Well.. I got to go soon.

Sigh.. This week quite frustrating.. I tried to control too..

Heard that yesterday was the first day of ghost festival.
What the.. Silver barked for the whole night..
I think she saw something perhaps.

Well.. I was in the bed..
Can't sleep what's more..
I have mock exam today..

Not energetic today..
I guess I didn't do well..

And I still talked to juniors about some tell tales of the school.
Including my past experience.

Yesterday was a very successful bonding!!
They were strongly bonded.
But I was too slow.
Didn't manage to see Chunmei laoshi.
I had something to show her.

Well.. Nevermind.
So sad. This will be the last month I promised myself..
That I would come and help out in dance.
Next month have to concentrate on studies.

That soon will apply to band too.
Maybe when it comes mid September..
I hate to leave too..

I need a month to prepare..
Sigh.. When Jason comes back bas..
Then maybe I need to concentrate.
Cos.. My mother found out. HEH.

I need rest.. Didn't sleep well last night.. Need to replenish. =P

Adventure. last week

2008-07-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Hahas~ Can't imagine I looked like freak yesterday.. =X
I'm visiting the website.. My ambition..

Medical/Laboratory Technologist

You will perform laboratory tests, assist in preparing various types of media as well as receive and process specimens.

Bachelor or Diploma in Life Sciences / Biomedical Sciences / Medical Technology

Research Assistants

The Department of Clinical Research promotes and supports basic laboratory-based research within Singapore General Hospital, collaborating and working closely with clinicians from various sub-specialities.

You will be involved in research projects related to molecular genetics and molecular therapy. Your duties will include cell culture work and various molecular techniques, such as RT-PCR and Real-time PCR.

Science Degree or equivalent, majoring in Cell & Molecular Biology, Biochemistry or Biological Sciences, with some research experience.

Service Registrar (Anaesthesia & Surgical Intensive Care)

Requirements
Candidate must possess basic Medical Degree and relevant post-graduate qualification.In addition, he/she must have at least 5 years’ post-housemanship experience.

The successful candidate can expect a competitive and attractive remuneration package depending on experience and grade of appointment. In addition, we offer a comprehensive benefits package that includes:

· 2 - 3 years renewable contract with relocation expenses

· 24 working days annual vacation leave

· Subsidised medical/hospitalisation benefits

· Conference leave

· Housing Subsidy

This is roughly the job I'm interested in..

Hees. Cool, isn't it. Degree.. Zzzz.. That's a little hard.

Well.. Still pending.

Who knows if I wish to switch my career the next time. =P

Degree aww..

Never mind! If there is a will, there is a way.

Lols. Let me tell you about the week before bas.

The concert I watched with my juniors..

It was in Tampines Junior College.

It was solely dance concert..according to my memory.

I was late.

Mrs Ng was furious. Some students didn't handed up what she wants.

That includes me, I don't deny.

Then, Miss Kong took us away from the class to art room.

I did some art work and get back to work. =)

Then it was late.. I was unable to reach on time.

Well, at least I didn't miss Winnie's concert. =)

We cheered for her of course..

Siyu was there performing too. =D

I didn't expect many Nan Chiau ex-students to attend.

I saw many of them.

Yi Gin, Ambrose, Yong yi.. and more.

Aloysius, Koon Heng, Joanna and some other current students of Nan Chiau came too..

I also saw Manshan..! And other Meridian Junior College students.

Aww.. Winnie injured her foot while dancing on the stage. So sotong..

Made my heart breaks..

We took some pictures of course.

That was after the performance.

I really enjoyed the show, the dance were great.

Oh by the way, juniors were crazy about the guitarist of the band. =D

We saw him walking up the overhead bridge.

And they called out, "Guitarist!"

To my surprise, he turned and looked at us.

Woah, at that moment, I saw his look. Really handsome.

Their hearts jumped out la~

But have to admit.. Me too.. Shy le. XP

Got home.

Last friday too.

I went for Roland gorgor's concert.

He was performing handbell.

GOSH~! It was melodious~~!!

I love handbell!!!

I took MRT there and dropped off at bugis.

I walked and overshot the road..

And..got to... ERP.. LOLS...

Passed Chimes, Carlton and Esplanade. From Bugis to Esplanade further.

Presumed place..-- "going to Nicoll Highway"

What the.. I walked 1 hours plus.. Lols.. Lost my way.

Just because I forgot my map. ='(

Well, I found my way there in the end.

I was the helper.

Well, this is the very first time I tear the tickets and direct people who are attending concerts.

That's so so cool.

And of course. I was also assigned to make sure there isn't any problem.

Cool. Well, there was this instructor's baby, who got interested in my tag.

The tag that identify me as "Staff".

She's so adorable~!

She made noise... Opps.. And I had to bring her mother and her out.

Lols. She's so adorable~!! I want to hug her.

Ya.. Subsequently, I went in to watch the concert too.

I seemed to have a lot of priviledges.

To walk about and more. Cool~

Yeah.. Handbell has a long history.. 1919s..

Cool.. And first used was to remind people to have meals.. T.T

And now, an instrument that has a range of size that is as small as 3 fingers to a big flower pot.

Lols.

I love handbells~!

It sound perfect!

After the concert, there was a feedback and "Ask and answer session"

The baby was back!

Everyone's attention on her.

Cos' she kept calling out "PAPA"

His father is a famous and one of the main lead instructors.

He has a degree for handbells. Well, don't remember which degree he has reached. Lols.

But it was remarkable~!

He is a Hong Konger, his wife is a Taiwanese.

Baby so cute~!

Anyway, after the whole session, I help to do surveys among the audiences.

Last, Roland gorgor see me home and taught me a little about drum.

He is an instructor too~ =D

Before that, he fetch Hazy jiejie and got me my dinner.. T.T

Touched!! Promise!! After my Os, I treat him 2 meals!

Thank you!!!

I enjoyed the concert!

Last sunday.

Jamming~

Oopps. My mum found out that I have been going jamming quite often. Heh..

She had kind of warned me about consciousness in my work.

Well, that's my fault. I had to know my limit.

She saw the drum sticks..

OH! I versus Blake about timing to go Jamming~

GLADLY, I reached on time.

Then, Blake was late~!

He was locked out.. By me. Heh..

He said he would only be 30 seconds late. But was 10 to 15 minutes late.

So as a punishment. Opps.

I practiced my drum hard..

And Improved!!!

But.. I didn't practice my vocal. Heh..

So.. Deteriorate.. GOMEN!!!

I will practice hard de!! =D

Oh.. And new beat.. That's cool~

Blake and I played "Sha shou". by JJ..

Cool!!! I feel so so so cool~~!!

I can play a song~!!!

Like to tease Blake so so much~~

HAHAs.. Cos' he likes to "tu" his mouth..

I mimic his move for playing keyboard.

Then we did the same ending move.

Bad Blake.. He snatch the drum sticks that Jason lent to me.. T-T

Lols.. Cos' I don't let him play drum.. Sobs..

I wish Jason was here..

Then he will help me~!!

Hahas..

Well, Blake played quite well..

And made me miss Jason..

Jason used to sit at the corner and play any music that band would play..

Emo~

Blake shook me awake..

Well.. Playing with Blake is so so fun.. Hahas.

Nice to tease at, play with and his actions were so funny.

I will miss Blake as much as I miss Jason when he leaves too..

So do Jerrome.. He is my opposition~!

Everything, he'll sing whatever opposite to me..

He's going NS soon too.. Aww..

No one to play with me le.. ='(

Everyone, be back soon okay?

I don't want to be alone..

Heng yu came too~!!! That super quiet guy..

Guitarist.. ---> He don't like to talk, don't like to be stared at.

So cute.

By the way, he insisted that he is taller than me..

My theory is, a bit!

Aww.. Band..so fun..

And after Jason's return, I may have to go away too..

For preparation of my Os.. Nothing comes in my way.

Mm.. For now, Os is most importamt.

Kks la. That's about band.

I feel a little disorganised without Jason~

Heh.. Cos' we were like playing more than practising. HAHAS..

Jason! Come back soon~ We miss you!

Thank you Jerrome too~!!

He made the band a little more organised.~ =D

Oh right.. I am off today.. "Why?" you asked?

Lols.

Thanks to that Laksa huh~~

Lols. I had skin allergy and made me a monkey for the whole day!!

I was treated like a freak for the whole day.

A family walked passed me and said.. "WAA!!! What happened to her face?"

At this kind of circumstance that people are treating you like an alien, shouldn't the victim, a girl cry?

But I laughed.. Hahas..

Then when I reached home, I scare my parents.

Lols..

With that current look of mine, Lols. I scare almost everyone.

Cos' after applying medication, my whole body is white.

So.. I became "white freak."

Thanks to that, I was also unable to make it for school today.

Seen a doctor.. He said, I have to find out the cause of it.

He told me that I am allergic to some food.

So I must try the food. ZZZZ!!! Crazy arhs!! I just recovered nia~

Who wants to undergo that kind of suffer again?

He said too, if it persist, I should see the doctor again and refer me to skin centre..

Siao. Means I got 2 organs problems le la?

But I must be good.

Finish the medication for a month consistently. T.T

1st scene

Well, Toilet..

I went to the toilet.. Cos' sand got into my eyes.

And my body is covered with medicine. So I can't use my hands to rub my eyes.

Went to the toilet. Then my father wanted to use it too.

It was dark and when he walked there..

He saw my white face turning and looking at him..

His face looked stunned..

And I smiled.

In the end, He found out it was me.

2nd scene

I was resting after that long torment.

Then, my sister came into the room.

She looked at me.. and turned to do her things.

Soon after that, she turned and looked.

She got a scare and jumped.

Later she told me my face was all white and my eyes were red..

So she got a fright.

SEE~~!!! Frightened my whole family. Lols.

White freak.. What an experience.

By the way, after "bleaching" I'm white.

After bathing, I'm still a little white. =P

Shall end here~!

Need to get back to work~ =)

Forced

2008-07-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

I feel so tired.. Forced to do things I don't want to..

My brother wants his computer back..

I need to say.. There are some secrets that I would like to keep it to myself only..
That maybe only certain hears it.. Certain not..
Vice versa for people who knows me lesser or not.

I'm really sorry for being so rude..
But things that are secrets for certain people, they are secrets..
And some are only meant for some ears to hear..

How do I express myself..
Don't assume that I would say everything because I once told you everything.?
Right.. Some things I just wish to keep it for myself.
I may have told everyone except you but it doesn't mean that you are not trustworthy..

That's all I can say.. Well.. Today.. I don't have a good mood..

Jason gone for Ns..
Hais.. Band will be bored without him..
It's always Blake, Jerrome and Jason who created the atmosphere..

It's a headache.. I need rest..
Mm.. I want to say.. I love bell bell~~!!

Quiz

2008-07-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

1. Do you have wide groups of friends?
Dance, NCHS Soaring Wings #12, ZhaBo's, NuEr, some other cliques and my band.! Haha.

2. If you’re in trouble, will your friends ‘fly’ over to help you immediately?
That's of course. I have absolute trust. I mean close friend.

3. Will you sacrifice your most precious thing for your friends?
My most precious thing can be shared! =D
Everything~! Lols.. More than willing~

4. Do you believe in Best friends, BFFs , or that everyone’s equal?
Everyone are great and special xD

5. Do you think that a straight & a woman can just be a platonic friends?
That's but of course.

6. Do you have a male friend that you can trust with almost everything?
Yes.

7. Do you think that friends should tell each other everything?
Depends? Mm.. Heh.. Mostly to best friends and kins.

8. If your friends are in trouble, what will you do?
Listen and comfort. If possible, I would give suggestions.

9. In future, if your friends get married and ask you to be their best men/bridesmaid, will you agree?
Of course! Especially someone's ringing~!

10. What if your enemy calls you one day to make peace?
I'll be more than happy! =D
Absolutely welcome to~

11. What will you do to a friend whom you trust deeply, betrayed you?
Depressed. Maybe would need to take time to recover.. =/

12. If your friend snatch away your boyfriend, will you still be a friend or hate him/her completely?
Well, if my friend can do that, then take lo. Well, trusting each other is more important.
Nahs. I won't hate her. Just will smile. But none of my friends are like that! =D

13. What if there is a boy/girl that have liked your friend for quite some time, tells you that he/she needs your help to win the heart of your friend, will you help him/her?
Maybe, maybe not. Haha. Depends on how sincere and how good natured the person is. =P

14. Do your parents think that your friends are a bad influence?
Not really.

15.What will you tell your parents if they asked you to transfer school, which means losing all your closest friends?
Can my friends transfer with me too.? And hee. I'm taking my whole school along~ xD

16. If your friend organize a once in a life time party, but your family doesn’t allow you to go? Will you sulk/throw a temper/sneak out/Don’t go?
I'll be expecting a lecture and I can go le~! Cos' my mum always do that~ HOHOHO

17. How will you describe your friendship relationship with your friends?
Excellent! Some barely fine?

18. Define friendship
Going through all the hardship and laughter together and accept one another.
A friend in need is a friend indeed~
Take them as a part of your life. =D

19. Name 20 people whom you can think right now.Don’t read the questions until you named the 20 people.At the end, choose 5 people to do this.
1. Qianqian
2. Winnie
3. Jessie
4. Minmin
5. Xue
6. Hui Yu
7. Jason
8. Blake
9. Jerrome
10. Rebecca
11. Vermon
12. Aloysius
13. Shuqing
14. Jiaxian
15. Xinjie
16. Jocelyn mummy
17. Joseph
18. Angela
19. Adeline
20. Jasmine

How did you meet no. 4?
I know min when I was in primary 3! Dance too~

What will you do if you never meet no. 1?
HUH~ Cannot.. Qian's important in my life.

What if no. 9 & no. 20 dated?
Impossible. Cos Jerrome has a wife whose in number..5!

Will no. 6 & no. 17 date?
Aiyo.. That will be a shock in my life. But impossible. Huiyu so demure. Joseph so... Lols.. Funny. How can?

Describe no. 3.
Jessie: MY UNDERSTANDING AND BELOVED LAOPO~ She's absolute a sweetheart. A soft sweetie pie~

Describe no. 7.
Jason: Mature, sensible, deep thinker, a friendly and enthusiastic person. lols. A lot eh..

Do you know any of no.12’s family?
Aloysius: WAA~~ The closest family I can ever get into~! I love the family and is part of them!

What will you do if no.18 confess to you that he / she likes you?
Angela: Lols.. She confessed before? Lols. I'll accept~! Hahas. I like you too Angela~ xD

What language does no.15 speaks?
Mainly chinese and english.. Maybe Malay too?

How old is no.16?
Jocelyn mummy: 17

When is the last time you spoke to no.13?
Shuqing: KTV? I kind of miss her too.. Lols. Last month? T-T

Who is no.2 favorite band or singer?
Winnie: YES OF COURSE~! DFSQ~!!! Dong Fang Shen Qi.. Actually is.. TFXQ.. HAHAs

Would you ever date no. 4?
BUT OF COURSE~~!!! She's my beloved laopo too!! More than happy to! =D

Would you ever date no. 1?
But of course~! Lols.. She's also my beloved laopo!!! Hees.. Love her!

Is no. 19 single?
Adeline: Lols.. I think so..? Lols.. She's a mathematics professional.. =D

Would you ever be in a relationship with no.11?
Vermon: Lols.. Already is in relationship LOLS~ Siblings relationship~

School of no. 3?
Jessie: Singapore Polytechnic. Miss her..

Where does no. 6 live?
HuiYu: Hougang! =D

What is your favourite thing about no.5?
Xue: Times that she push me away when I tried to hug her. xD
And when she smile and laugh..
And when she talks.. Every way, she's sweet and lovely. =)

Have you seen no. 2 naked?
Winnie: WAAA!! What a question!! No.. But we have stayed in the same room for the night along with Jessie and Xue before~

What is no. 8’s nickname?
Blake: I'm sorry.. But.. he is DUCK, BLACK DUCK.. Hen cute hors?

Next 5 person to do the survey.
HOHOHO...
That will be..someone with blog.
Minmin!!
Ah xue~
Jerrome
Jason
And blake blake~

Hahas..
To think that this is a mission I had to do a month ago~ HAHAS~
Sorry Qian~ Lols..
Done~!! Enjoy!!! xD

Changes

2008-07-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

LoLs..
I look sweeter like this.. =D
Changed my blogskin.

Fine. Need to do homework le~ TATA~ Update during weekends..
Friday is coming soon.. =(

Thank you Jason~ =D

Appreciation day

2008-07-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU JASON~!!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLAKE BLAKE~~!!

Come to think of it, my father's birthday is tomorrow.
But he is not supposed to celebrate.

I don't wish to give promises yet..
But then, I'll try to make it up to you Blake..
Buy you sweets..
Or.. other things..Cannot say.
If I say it out, then no more surprise~
Gomen ne~! Had to leave early to run errands.

What happened today was, I went for jamming..
Though it wasn't J-band playing, we watched the old band.
Then quite happy..
They sang well, performed well~! Cool~
However, gastritis acted up.. I could do nothing to get into a better mood..
Thanks to Jason's water, I was backed to normal..
Laughs~!

New faces.!!
Dilys.. Still has Jes something?
Lols.. Sorry! I'm bad in remembering names
OH~~ Heng yu and Jie Xian..
2 more girls.. That's that~

Then, Jerrome and Xue had to go after jam.
We have to wait to travel to East Coast and celebrate with Blake~

Then, I enjoyed poking drumsticks at Jason~
Cos' he handed to me his drumsticks and told me that he is lending them to me.
He told me to practice. YES JASON!

But went there after some while, both of us gastric~
Then went to buy and go along with the crowd to celebrate Blake's birthday~
To our surprise, Blake gave his brother a ride and cycle~ LAUGH~~
That's so cute, he tried to act as if he don't know anything.. But He was spotted.
Not surprising.. So many eyes..

And stayed there for a while.. Wishing him..
Well, THANK YOU BLAKE'S MAMA! Laughs~
She cooked for everyone..
I feel bad though.. Talk only.. Never help her out.. Gomen~! > <

After joking, thanks to JASON!!
Lols.. We took taxi..
Lols.. They kept demanding Jason to go out with them soon..
Then called out his full name.
Laugh.. So ke lian.. He kept giggling, back facing them, walking away..

We got onto a cab.
Bu hao yi si! Caused Jason to pay a lot..
Well~ So nice of him..
I wasn't able to see any accessible place for me to travel home.
THANKS~~!!!!

Great.. Today so happy~~~!!!
Laughs~~~
Everyone's so nice..

So.. I wish it will just go on..
I really.. like band a lot..
Every week, looking forward to it..

I will miss Jason a lot~~!!!
He passed me the drum sticks. And I felt so reluctant to take it..~!!
The fact that, I don't want him to go away for 7 weeks..
Am I bad..?

Blake lehs.. Thanks.. the songs!! Me too~~ Enjoyed today a lot~
All thanks to you~~! I got even more happy.

Oh right~ Wee Ching~
I'm so sorry~~ Didn't talk to you..
Seemed to have left you out..
Next week okay? We'll talked more~!

Thanks Jerrome and Xue..~
Sorry eh.. Become light bulb~~
I will try to siam okay? Lols.

I miss you guys..
CHERISH EVERY MOMENTS! I will..

Oh right.. And the concert thing..
Can I update the next time?
Need to rest le..
I think it's 1am..
Tomorrow has school!
Goodnight..
A sweeter dream~

Serenade

2008-07-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

Sound of Serenade.
A little melodies of sadness and happiness.
I was in sweet rain again..
On the bike, in the basketball court and dancing in the rain.

"Don't leave.."
This is what I heard from somwhere on top left corner says.
Tell me. What are you trying to imply..

I don't get it..
I dreamt of my death..
Before and after..
See cars speeding past me side.. I got a shocked..
Cos' I thought I fell.

So am I still alive?
Is this a virtual world?
I say.. I want...to stay alive..
I still want to hear everyone's voice..
I still want to be with everyone..
So.. Don't deprive me of the beginning of my happiness.

It has nothing got to do with my current health problem..
Just.. stop appearing..

If.. I should leave one day, will anyone remember me.?
I promise~
I'll live to the fullest..
Don't take me away yet..
I still want to.. continue..

I've been good today.. I did my chores..
Well.. I just.. will update about yesterday tomorrow or something..
Sorry, I'm not well.

Nostalgic

2008-07-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

Interesting question, friend.
I shall just keep your identity unrevealed.
Actually.. I don't how to answer your question. =/

Laughs..
Had my listening comprehension.
Gosh.. I hope I did well..

I feel very tired..
But I have to work..
Must.. Since it is the last lap.

You really made me ponder..
Do I? No. I thought.. No..

Well.. I'm always this friendly~~
I talked a lot about another person too..
Lols..
Don't think too much~

Jason going army le~!
No more drum~~!!
Eh~~ Let's just hope that he can come out as often to play with us again~~

And Blake is leaving after 4 years..
It's like everything was made known when I just enter.
Quite unprepared to hear anything of anyone going away.

Sigh.. Can everyone not leave?

This unreasonable girl again.
Laughs~

Stella so tired.
I love the rain..
But then.. Will the rain stop?
I really enjoy the scenery..
A mixture of sadness and happiness..
That's sweet rain..

Suteki Da Ne stuck hard~
I'm so eager to get the song from Blake..
And learn drum from Jason..
Sigh.. Everything starts early, will it end early too?

This is a moment of memory that will go on~
It will be part of my best memory too~
I will cherish every moment with the band~ =D
Getting nostalgic~
Gomen~

Work

2008-07-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

Opps. Everything stick together.
But I did what I can..
Stuck at my study table for 6 hours. Terrible..
I'm going back after an hour of consultation with Ms Adeline.

Sorry if I didn't reply any of my friend's reply.
I really had to go according to my agenda.

Need to be disciplined now.

By the way, Next jamming is on the next Sunday.. =)
But I promise.
I'll try to complete whatever I need to do before going.
Even if it takes me to sit at study table for 12 hours.
Sigh.

Brain dead..
Saying about that..
Are the brain cells passing the memories to the other before dying?
Why would we remember things?
Why are there some people who can't?

If I were to forget my beloved each day and die mentally before physically,
What should I be doing?
Jotting down everything that I remember of you so that it won't fails me?
What if I forget everything of anyone?
That's a very sad thing..

A moment to remember..

*smile..
Need to trouble Blake.
Wonder if he could find the song for me.

Lethargic..
Anyway.. I've been cold to Situ..
Don't know why..
Maybe.. I don't wish to get too close to him?
Maybe.. I don't wish to get into more misunderstandings?
Because.. I got a strange feeling that he mistook what I think of him?
Or.. Am I the one thinking too much..?

Don't treat me too good.
Because I won't be able to repay you.
Honestly, really don't treat me too well..

Anyway, Jamming and Studying comes first..
Studies is my priority.
An objective I have yet to achieve.

I felt bad enough to have disappoint Roland that I promised to complete my ten years series.
I did a lot today though.

I'm tired, very much.
Well, smiles..
I will try my best~
In every aspect, I will do my best..
Need to step up on my paddle to speed~

Got to go.
Need to ask teacher mathematics.

Band!

2008-07-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Listening to Suteki da ne.

The wind, like a heart that swam in the accumulated words

The clouds, a voice that was shot into the holding future

The moon, a shaking heart in an unsteady mirror

The stars, gentle tears in an overflowing stream


Isn't it beautiful, to walk together in each others hands

I do so want to go,
To your city, your house, into your arms.


That heart,

held within your body

In those confusing nights

I dream




The wind, its halting words are a gentle illusion

The clouds, the broken future like a distant voice


The moon, a heart flowing in the clouded mirror

The stars, broken and swaying, like tears unable to be hidden.

Isn't it beautiful, to walk together in each others hands

I do so want to go,

To your city, your house, into your arms.



That face,

A soft touch,

Dissolving into morning,

I dream.




-This song.. I've been looking for it for ages..

Finally.. THANKS BLAKE!



Today.. We had Jamming.

Xue, Jerrome, Min, me, Jason and Blake.

That was so cool~



Start with I say.. The studio has my grandmother's home scent.

Funny? Am I?


*smiles!*



Then we started with me..

Then I sang and ate my lunch with minmin and xue.

Waa.. They said I sang well~~! Hees.

I got the talent~~!!



I played with the drum..

Thanks to Jason, I learnt one!

YES!

I learned how to play a bit.

Next week, more training..



Then, I sang Heavenly days.

Mmm. Out of tempo though.

Soon, Blake came along~



He's keyboardist.

He likes to tuu his mouth.

And he likes to sa jiao..

HAHAs



And then I teased him for the whole day..

Sorry, Blake!!!

Woah~ We have good improvement at the end of the day~!



In the end, we still have our audience. Laughs.

Oh right.. I heard they say that a group came and that's Lucifer.

Mmm.


Oh right.. That wasn't a lot of details..

Cos' I was mischievous.

How can I let you know??





Before that I had tuition.

After that I have tuition..

And tomorrow, I'll do all the homework~!!

Yea~



Blake gave me a lot of songs!! Thanks thanks Blake!!

Thanks Jason for teaching me drum~!

Thanks Jerrome for helping me buy lunch~

Thanks xue and min for coming along!! Yeah!

Thank me for not missing the session~!!!



I'm super super happy today!

A gonna be Vocalist!

More songs to practice and more songs to practice.



Before that, I need to clear all the things that I have yet to do. =)

Homework!


Aww.. Tired.

But I'm soooo happy~~!!



My band rocks!!!!

Wee...



Everyone Ganbatte kudasai!

Arigatogosaimasu!

Ja ne! Sayonn~!

Forgiving and forgetting.

2008-07-10T04:18:00.000-07:00

Forgiving to forgetting.

Whether someone's existence affect us will make us forget or not.
Especially in a relationship..
It's normal to not able to forget.
Looking into the source of breaking up,
For many, It's either they are hurt or they hurt the other party that made them cannot forget.
Guilty for some, Hurt for some, They remember it..
It became an incomplete Breakup.
For themselves.. Thus reminders, thinking of them.
This is where we have to forgive whatever one has done.
Myself or him.
When it doesn't even of something that I have to think about or need to think about anymore, I can let go..
Something like.. Total forgiveness allows one to let go in an easier way..
It is then we will regard it as a past then we can forget..
And if we don't keep thinking of the person again..
Maybe you'll remember the person's name..
Vague facial features is the thing that you might remember too and the things that both did, will be forgotten..
Whether a person choose to forget or not depends on oneself.

-A theory from my mentor.-
How to forget someone..

I'm diagnosed with a serious illness.
I dug everything out of my heart-including you..-

Is it that important?
That I loved you? ...once?
An impact that imprints a deep mark in my heart that I can't forget?

Or not willing to?
Or forced myself to?

I forgive and forget.
The things that really bothers me.
Slowly, step by step, I forgive myself and you.

Time doesn't matter.
Just the fact that i won't see you and feeling hurt at the same time..
Forgive yourself too.. =)

Now that things really comes to an end, we should see things ahead.
Our life really moved on~

Oh well, Drenched~
It rained so heavily all of a sudden.
Some bitter rain turned into my sweet rain.

I finally found my solution~

Oh right.. I got ample of work to do~
Thus, going off.
TATA~

Right. Jamming this Saturday.
Next Saturday, There will be mock exam and oral examination remedial.
I'm going to miss Qian's departure.. T-T

No way!! I can't believe it..
At most, I look her up on Friday..
Sigh.. Why things arranged in this manner?
Sigh..
She's coming back soon and that I must know. =)

Gosh.. Lethargic..
I rest first and then back to work~
Laughs~~

Subconsciousness

2008-07-08T03:18:00.000-07:00

Subconsciousness.
I see death?
I see something?
I..feel something I should have.

Tell me now,
Every friend that I know, would you..remember me if I were to go to somewhere faraway and not coming back anymore?

I'm sorry..
These days.. I feel not right..
My worsening condition made me paranoid.
Pardon me.
I'm.. fine.

But.. Would I stay as your friend, a somebody who once entered your life..?
Would you still remember me?

Pains

2008-07-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

In your dreams, when would you ever say anything.?
Between reality and dreams, that delirium girl confessed.
So.. A would-never-say fact is always buried deep down.

She naively thought that she had overcame.
But she didn't.
Escapism yet fading.
That someone still stands a very important place..

How silly..
She succumbed to the fact that heartfelt words are spoken.
Everything..is laid as evidence.
Admit it.. You cannot escape from it.

No wonder. Despite many tried moving her heart, she felt nothing.
You're just like a stone!

She just need some time.
So face it, accept it and forget it.

Deteriorating.
That's scary..

Never tried having to lose clear vision for more than 15mins before.
And that shivering hands.
Tell me it's all unreal..

Guess.. It has worsened..
Well, I'm seeing a doctor soon..
I'll be just fine..

Had change to use a stronger medicine finally.
I succumbed to it..utterly.

Give me more time..
Just a little more..

Lethargic in mental and physical..
Stop trying to put up front.
Falling and getting up when you can't..

Stop hurting yourself..

Chronicles

2008-07-06T12:11:00.000-07:00

Laughs*
These photos were taken after my family dinner at home.
Laughs* Nice?

Well.. I enjoyed a steamboat yesterday..
Today we also had steamboat.. Laughs*
Papa brought durians back.. =P

It was kind of happy.
It's been long since we have been together having a good meal together.
Except for Vermon who's overseas right now with..
We really had a nice time.
I love my family~!!

Surprising, it's almost 4am.. I'm still wide awake..
My body can't take it already, I suppose.
Cos' I'm getting dizzy.. Laughs*
Every of my friends had gone to bed. =/

Right.. Situ brought me for movies..
I feel like telling him what happened in the story.
That's because I know I've watched. =P
In the end, I kept mum..

He's quite nice..
Bought popcorns la, coke la~
Well, really not very nice to ask people to treat..
I feel bad, oh well.
I went to popular bookstore to buy what mummy had told me to buy..
But didn't had time to go Times bookshop.. T-T

Nevertheless, I'm still late.
Sorry~ This is a very bad habit too.
Caused people to be in trouble. =/
I will get rid of that bad habit~

Right~! Today I sang whole day~ Waa..
But heh.. Didn't study.
I did house chores too.
I hardly have the chance to sing with mum. =P
She is very happy today~
So does papa.

Let me share something?
Yesterday, there was this couple and their friend in the bus of double deck.
Then my sister and I sat at the back seat.

Unluckily, the boyfriend kept looking at us.. that made the girlfriend jealous.
Then the girlfriend tried to show her plus points and wants to attract the attention of people.
And she did. The entire top deck of the bus passengers were quite attentive to her behavior.
It still doesn't stop her boyfriend from looking though.

When we had to alight, those guys whistled.
Worst thing was those mean guys tried to trip my sister.
Feeling like hitting them back. So rude.
Well.. Those guys were so uncouth.

Are we bad? Well.. Sounded like I'm criticising them.. =X

I received a news.
Out of concern, I typed an sms to someone.
And a very consoling reply was he has finally found his happiness.
Congratulations.
Cherish her. =) Hope you have a very blissful relationship.

------------------------------------------------------

A mirror that acted as a reflection of what one thinks.
Sees a confusion of chronic swirls.
It brings happiness, the joy.
Yet thumping heart and sound of chips.

Overcomed, thus shall share bliss, give wishes.
Still a loner shall find her way to face.
Turns after turns, swirls after swirls,
Back she was on the way to away.

No more escapism. No more fear.
A same time of burden lifted away.
Least to let you suffer.. One has to go.

Pleading Thousands of stars has came true.
Task accomplished.
I'll remember you..
Disappearance.

The actor and actress continue..
Till that audience's gone.
--------------------------------------------------

Teared away..
Fear of losing her world.

Fantasy she has.
Just one moment of confirmation.
She's gone.

Let her lean on.
Least she lost herself in reality.
Live in dreams..
Better off..

Quiet..Shh..
Everyone shoo.
"Contaminated" life shall go.

Hugs..
I'll remember you.A forever true memory..
Here.. <3
I love you..pa, ma, beloved(s)

Rebel 17

2008-07-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

This is taken with my sister when we were having family dinner.

Fine, But not natural.

A smile.

I looked quite innocent and blur. =p

Beginning of my mischief.

So, look..at it carefully.

....
Saw that? Maintain your silence.

Gripped.

Hey.

Stopped emotional
What's with in deep thoughts.
Yes?
Lols
...

Ooo.. My hair really got longer.
Looked like ah Beng.. T-T
Ferocious eyes?
Yupp?
Hmm~

Ta-tum~
Bleahs.~!

Twist! =P
Was it a fright to be so fierce?
Boo~ No fear~

Wee~
Uh huh~
My star necklace
Yeah~
Bored..

End le~ Lone photos.
My sister and me.
Bleahs~
Heh~

I call it the rebel 17
I've gotten mischievous these days. =P
Get back~ I need to study.

Well this is every girl's prime time.
And they shines best in this period of time.

That's the best photo album I've ever taken.
Enjoy~

Juniors/movies

2008-07-04T03:19:00.000-07:00

I just helped my juniors to settle their misunderstandings.
Still, I think I could less do anything better than what Qian helped.
I wonder what should I do if I'm without her.

Thank goodness..
I hope nothing like that would repeat.
I could afford nothing to lose the passion and bond that my juniors have between themselves.

I hate to leave.
But I would go one day.
As the saying goes, "there are no parties that would never end."
No matter how much we enjoyed, we would have to go one day.

Denyse, don't cry okay?
Daddy dote on everyone of you..

Her cries softens my heart utterly.
No matter what problems you all encounter, please stay bonded together.
Solve the problem as a group.
Because you are what you made of..
"We will always love you, no matter what." -From Qian and me, to precious daughters-

I watched "Ten promises to my dog".
So cute~
I love socks~ I mean the golden retriever.
I cried when socks died. Sobs.. T-T
People cannot watch with me.. BEWARE.
I watched with Manshan and Winnie.
They are so cute~

I travelled with Manshan since she stay near my school. =)
She's a very sweet girl.
I like her a lot. xP

I'm in dilemma..
Someone wants to treat me movie.
Then I JUST watched.
How?
Opps.. Out of his kind gesture, he wanted to watch ten promises cos' I wanted to watch.
Yet he wished to watch the Hulks.
What should I do??

I will have an answer soon.. =)
Situ, thank you so much. =)

Delirium

2008-07-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

It's quite weird.

In the midst of delirium, an image of familiar figure appeared.
That someone who once appeared like wind and goes like wind.
I gentle placed my hand on my head and ponder.
Right, this is you.

All I remember was you in my story.
A never forget story.
Though I am the forgotten, the insignificant one in your life.

Leading a life without you..again..
When do I forget you for that short period of time?
Never mind; it's just the heart that splits apart.
You led your life very well..

Holding on to unbearable pain after miserable stabs.
Walking miles away till she drops dead.
Flashes of images appeared, that's you.
"Never mind if you did anything."
"Never mind you forgot me."
"I'll remember the happiness you've given."
Last word.

Cos' I'll be there.

Chinese Oral Examination

2008-07-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

Waterdrops rolled down the dry, reaching another high point where all gathered.
Drops and drops fell onto the ground,
Dispersed in various directions and formed circular-like patches.
Imitating footsteps to trace as the sky turns red..

Well, I flunked my Chinese Oral.
This is the very first time I did this badly.
Nonetheless, things that are over, no point brooding over it.
I have many examinations to continue.

After a nice laughter, I felt better.
Thanks to Aloysius, my youngest brother.
He was catching a comedy.

Well, there is no homework for today~
Great.. Finally a good night sleep~
Shall try to complete those late ones in my hand.

Aww. I'm getting a little crazy soon~
Cool it.. I need to find my source of relaxation.
Tired.. Soon.. 3 months more.
Yet 3 months more to my deadline of continuation revision.

Teachers are going tired in this lap, so do us.
Hopefully everyone survive this.
Because this is just the beginning of next level.

Boyz and Ballerina

2008-06-30T03:40:00.000-07:00

I went to watch the concert on Saturday.
I went there with brother and sister Vivienne.
The show that we caught was "boyz and ballerina".

Totally spectacular.
In esplanade, the way they dance was supreme.
They could do the dance so wonderfully with a nice story line.
Shall write the next time.

They were all Korean artists.
The best part is they are going to other countries after this stop.
They are experienced dancers.
They combined hiphop and ballet so wonderfully.
That's so cool and awesome.

And we had photo and autographs.
Wow. They will be so famous!
How I wish I can dance like them too~
Korean dancers are cool!

By the way, after hearing my mummy preach, I have a very strong feeling to work very hard.
Tomorrow is going to be Chinese Oral Examination already.
Well, may have to sacrifice the time to play and blog.
To make everything worth my effort.

Teachers, Sorry if I had not handed up any work, I will complete it as soon as possible.
Wee.. Bye~ Need to work.!

Tears

2008-06-27T03:20:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. I'm one of the irresponsible students.
Now that Mrs Ng is totally upset, no one would care and bother about her.
No one even apologise.
She is unwilling to teach.
Who else can help..?

I'm so redundant and insignificant in the class already.
What is there to say?
What strengths do I have to persuade others what I think too?

The only I can do is to work hard..
I'm so sorry to be such a lousy student..
I feel so helpless.

Every teacher forsaken students who fail to work.
Do I fall under this category?

It just feels this bad..
I will complete my work very soon..
Sorry teachers.
Caused you to worry.

Mrs Ng don't wish to listen to my persuasion anymore.
It's all my fault.
I'm sorry.

By the way, "O" level chinese oral starts on this tuesday.
Need to work hard.
Today complete homework.
Tomorrow go school's event and Art remedials then concert.
The day after tomorrow practise for "O" level chinese oral.

Someone invited me for a movie.. So happy..
Though I hope to watch ten promises..
But then watch hulks since someone wants it.
Laughs..

Quote:
Teardrop is the twist of rainbow.
Without water, there will not be rainbow.
Experience bitterness before cherishing the sweetness of life.

No permit

2008-06-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

In school!!
Opps.. That's not allowed in school.
Aren't supposed to visit unauthorised website without permission.
Well, I did it anyway...
No one cares.. =P

Opps.. I was thinking..
Use it here then go home no excuse to use.
Cause' the school has a limited time. =P
I'm still someone without discipline.
Heh..

Sigh..
Well, for now.. maybe I'll do this to reduce my temptations and reduce the duration of using computer..
What an effective way. =P
I have no excuse then. =P

I got so many to do. So little time.
I hope Mr Krishnan will not be angry anymore and let me join the Oral practice soon. ='(
But first and foremost, I need to complete his work~
Yeah!
Great then.

Quote:
I can't possibly throw all the starfishes into the sea when they are all over the beach.
I can manage to save some of them so that they would survive.

Buck up!!

Apologetic

2008-06-25T03:26:00.000-07:00

Apologies..
I'm not that kind who is meant to be mean.
As an apology, I deleted it.
Sorry.
I wrote it on impulse.

Nearly to rumors.
Yesterday Jiaxian stayed back with me to study.
Little did we know that Mrs Ng hoped that our class would be cleaner.
Then we helped to clean up.
Today, Mrs Ng told the class about today.
ALMOST into a rumor.
That was close.

Opps. I better get going at 8. Zzz..
Too many undone work.
Stella is such a bad girl..

I just want to tell you..
You do stand a place in my heart..
I will remember you.. =)
Take care forever.

Mummy I LOVE YOU~
PAPA TOO~!!

Random

2008-06-24T04:41:00.000-07:00

Aww!! Sorry!!
I wasn't on purpose to be online.! LOLS..
Backed..

I'm so tired.
Got to go work for my rest of assignments.
Next time then update!

Show

2008-06-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

Take each day,
One at a time.
One day at a time
-this is enough.

Do not look back and over the past,
For it is gone.

Do not be troubled about the future,
For it has yet to come.

Live in the present,
And make it beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

This quote is from somewhere sacred.
Found it meaningful.. So save it down.
Precisely that's why diary came from..

I went for movie appreciation with Qianyong and Nicholas.
I become Nainai of Nicholas.. LOLS.
But fun~ He's always bullied by me.. XD
Not showing in theatre.
"Huan Chun."
It's a very meaningful and nice movie.

Showing about a girl who knows how to appreciate what she have instead of blaming her fate.
Despite all unfavourable conditions her aunt and uncle had caused, her adoptive grandfather took care of her.
In the end, she earned the acceptance of them and honoured her grandfather to study university.

Laughs.. Who say I'm blur?
This grandson Nicholas is as blur as me.
Anyway, do you think Jc is easy to study in?
Nicholas has good grades for A levels too..

Sigh.. Worry~
Mm.. Jamming..
Sigh.. Homework..
Sigh..

Tired.
Acting on a stage alone isn't easy.
What's more, one who hallucinated is worst.
All along was dancing on the stage..
Imagining another person as a companion but all lies.
Until one day she discovers, acceptance is the only way out.
So.. Miss living in her fantasy.

Rest a little more..
Then, I'll go study. =D
Maybe.. MAYBE go jamming a while.. Bring all my books~~ > <
How? Everyone is there.. > <
Go la.. =/
See ya~

Oh right..
Not coming online or posting after holiday I suppose..
Too many undone..
Major is coming.
So. HEH..
Resting. October?
Maybe.. =)

Someone help

2008-06-20T02:52:00.000-07:00

Sad..
Someone is in need of AB+ blood type~
Anyone can help?
Bone marrow needed..
Call 97838531 if you can help.
MILLIONS OF THANKS!!!

Life is fragile..
I'll donate if I can.. =/

We were silly..
Need guidance.
Sunrise is a representative of hope..
Sunset is an await to be fulfilled wishes; a better tomorrow..

Happy today.. =D
I miss the times when we go play~~
Laughs~

School reopening

2008-06-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

School reopening..
My homework is still like a pile..
Laughs..
I think Brother Roland is killing me.
I still owe him homework.. The whole ten years series maths.. T-T

Uh.. Tomorrow going out with Nicholas and Qian~
Meeting Nicholas first. =P
Should be.. I go contact him..
Qian qian say cannot make him feel isolated..
Laughs*

Tomorrow also go East coast or Pasir Ris cycle~
Laughs*
Tomorrow de schedule so packed.! > <

I feel so tired.
Today do many many homework first!
T-T
It's all my fault to play whole day~~
I begin to love the feeling of staying at home~

Anyway.. Just now talked to Situ.
Zzz.. He pity on me.. Want to take me out for a movie..
Laughs.. Working in action country still want me to disturb him.
Mr.weird weird.
Sigh~
Why not take kids from orphanage to watch?
Since they had never been to movies. Laughs*

See first.. Maybe go.. Maybe not.
Got the feeling..
That guys' words.. not really that trustworthy either..
Listen and that's it. =)
Sorry..

Sigh..
Just now change to this song..
Nice song~
Living in the past is fine.
As long as I am taking the first time to walk out of it.
This is because
Yesterday is history
Today is a gift
Tomorrow is a mystery
That's why today is called present too.

Sunday go jamming..
Laughs*
To think I'm still playing.. =P
Nevertheless, I will work hard!

让我们自由

2008-06-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

让我们自由
----------------------
你不爱我了
我想我懂了
后来的沉默何时解脱
不知道是对是错
明明很爱你又不快乐
算了吧就放开手让你自由
也让我自由
两个人在一起
是那么靠近
拥抱着却隔着最远的距离
你还在我心里
怎么可以
我却成为你的过去
两个人在一起
解不开问题
走下去却看见寂寞的表情
是你太爱自己
我的眼睛全都是
都是你背影...
无奈的沉默何时解脱

Empty space

2008-06-16T21:50:00.001-07:00

Laughs*
Sorry.. I was a little distracted.
Too sleepy.

Speaking to Qian on the phone now.
Actually.. Forget it..
And Winnie too..

If we have fate, we would meet no matter what..
It was just that I was played out.
I couldn't help you with anything.
I'm sorry..

I just got enlightened.
Guilty because I thought it was all because of me.
How great could I be to cause everything like this?
I am partly responsible.
But I have fulfilled.

Because I shouldn't be there.
I am gone too.
I left you peace.. =)
I'm sorry to have appeared in your life.
I am not wanted and not supposed to be there.
I'm so sorry that I existed in your life.

I should be gone.
No more lingers.
I don't love you anymore.

But history would repeat if you indulge in thing that is not meant to be yours.
No point regretting what is done either.
I'm so sorry.. So sorry that I'm there.

But.. I've forgiven myself.
I didn't do it intentionally.
Once I thought if I had never appeared, you would lead a better life.

In this lifetime, if we ever meet again, we would smile to each other I suppose.
Sorry.. But everything had really come to an end.. =

I just feel regretable that I was not able to help you get out of misery.
I'm so sorry..
I will make a wish for you still.
I know one day you will be freed..

One day.. Maybe you would know, once there was this girl in your life..
Who really love you truly from the bottom of her heart..
Till now, I would only wish..
The rest, I will forget..

No longer.. I won't fold stars in fast food again..
I'm an empty space in your memory.. Remember that.. =)
Bin hao.. Take care forever..

Erased memories.
Her tears fell like raindrops..
Cos' she has left her wishes.. Let go too..
I will miss you..
Always the best boyfriend ever..

Things~

2008-06-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

Incomplete!!!
Argh..
Don't want to continue this vicious cycle..
I'm tired already..

No more guilt..
I need to return you..
Hais..
Everytime I thought it is an end. But never. Sobs.
I will get over.

I went to have a nice basketball match..
There are gentlemen letting this lady shoot.~
I chopped too~!!
I'm so happy~

But tired.. Very..
This is because I did cooking, washing.. Too lethargic.
I think I will be thrown away..
I want to sleep.. lols.
I go sleep!!!!!!!

When I wake up tomorrow, I will be more energetic~
Tired.. Good night..
Sorry.. Sleepy blabber~ ;

Parents' day

2008-06-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

Happy PAPA day~!!!

Aww tired..
Still ill.
My mummy made an ice lemon tea for me~
And she tied plaits for me~
She said, "Plaits goes curl, mummy's birthday is here."
Aren't my mummy cute??
LOVES her~<33

And my papa~
He cooked for us today, bought things for us..
But he has forgotten PAPA day~
HAPPY PAPA DAY~
I want to say.. I LOVE YOU, PAPA.. <33

I'm such a fortunate girl.
No one can get their parents to do so many things for them at this age.
Especially when I'm already 17..

I still have my mum tying plaits for me.
Girls nowadays don't really approve of hairstyle done by their mothers.
But I'm so proud that my mummy did!

Cos' she seemed to want to tie it nicely for me.
Just like the times when I was younger.
I had short hair since I became sec 3.
I believe, at that moment, she must be upset..
The long hair that she had kept for me was cut away.

I miss the way my mummy tie them up for me~
I love you~

My papa.. He used to buy food for us and whip us nice dishes~
And he did today too~!
Today is a wonderful day~!
He played with us and cook nice food for us..
I miss today~ lols~

My papa heard that I was coughing..
Like the times when I was young, he would worry..
He cycled to buy medicine and I coughed lesser.
And when we requested for sweets, he would buy them for us too~
I miss him giving me a ride to the market.~ =D
I once rejected his offer of giving me a ride..
Regret~ Now, I'm so heavy le.. How can he give me a ride?
Sigh..

Nevertheless.. Thank you papa!!!!
I love you!!!

Waa~~ tomorrow oral exam.. Actually I should be in the bed now..
Good luck lala~~
Cos' I got my parents, my good friends, I will score!! I love you!!

I'm a very fortunate girl in the world~ =D
MOST FORTUNATE GIRL IN THE WORLD, I SHOULD SAY~
LOVE YOU MAMA PAPA!!

Silly devotion

2008-06-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

*laughs..
I went to Yew Tee for you the last time.

To think I place my I/C with you..
Sigh.. =(
Trust you.. Discard it for me..

I gave a cake..
2 letters..
Mr Tiny..
A bag full of stars..
A tie..
Back to you..

Well, I seemed to know you a lot.
But I think I know nothing..
I have placed my heart wrongly..
Nevertheless, I continued my mistake.
Now, time to go.

Still.. All that you've said was a lie..
Precisely, it was a bad dream after all.
Thank goodness, Qian was "there" to give me a hug and comfort after my dream..
She was by my bed, so I feared nothing.
"Erased" whatever bad dream I had~ LOLS.

Sigh.. You are such a silly guy..
Too devoted..
I wonder..if I could forget you too..
Everything has come to an end.
Time to let go too..

No wonder everyone said I was silly.
I find us nothing common..
The only thing is silly devotion..

Actually, thank you..
Thank you for your care and concern for the past 20 months..
Sorry too.. I failed my duty and failed to save you from misery too.
Cos' you chose your path..
I had to go..

Couldn't see my studies go into drain..
So.. HAHAS~
I got to go.

What's more..
I think I'm too selfish.. =/
Thinking about myself only..
Maybe one day..

My punishment for being the third party is dumped.
Laughs*
Something even more funny was, I didn't even know I became the third party.

How can a sunshine girl go down?
I smile everytime~
So.. DECIDED!
I want to be happy.
So.. I got to leave you..
Anyway.. I'm not needed in your life too. = redundant.

As long as I have a brand new life~
HAHAHA~~
This is my last post to you..
Soon, I'll change Address, I suppose..

Please take care..
The only thing I worry about is how badly you took care of yourself..
Sigh..
Stay happy..

Fallen ill

2008-06-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

I've been coughing.
Sigh.
Feeling nauseous and dizzy.
Tired. It doesn't feel good to be sick..
It's getting a little worse.
Maybe I'll sleep earlier..

Tomorrow, I need to go somewhere though.
So I think I need ample rest.
I think I don't wish to cause any trouble to you anymore.
I'll just leave it at your door.. Then sms you after that.

I hope my health don't fail me.
Gosh..

No one approves of me to care for you.
You don't wish to either.
I'm forsaken..anyway.
I should have given up. This is what everyone told me.

Now, I know what I should do.
Despite the separation of 8 months, I still believe in you.
In the past, now or future, I will.
Just, I couldn't bring myself to witness a girl by you.
And I realised that I couldn't be your guardian.

I failed to..
Sigh..

You must take care..
Cos' I wouldn't see how you will be like in future.

I still have not done my ten years series..Sobs..
Need to work harder.
Monday is English Prelim Oral Examination already.
Sigh..
Don't give me away.. I need to score. ='(

End here..

Tiring day

2008-06-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

BACKED~

Aww.. I'm totally lethargic..
Gosh.. I was in a haunted bungalow.

Laughs*

We felt something.
Saw something too..
If only adults are there.. HAHAs..*

Zzz.. But the stars there were nice!!
I saw STARFISH..and that doodle of mine~
So fun..

Aww. Very tired.. Hahas..

I think I'm tired.
Hahas.. Aiya.. Everyone too tired.
But I won't forget~
Mummy.. Happy birthday.. =)

Chalet

2008-06-12T00:52:00.000-07:00

I am so happy..
Going to Pasir Ris chalet later.
*laughs.
Go swimming. Or rather, play water.
Yeah.. Another attitude le~!

Think we are going to party there.
But then, still in the midst of persuasion..
My mum refused to go.
But we are going to celebrate her birthday. =P
Aiyo. How???

Sigh..aren't you living well?
Why do you still..?
Take care will you?

I'll be killing you if you go on!
Tell you arhs!! I'll turn violent if you continue.!
Idiot lahs!!
On the 15 then you know.
You are down for lecture!
Hmm..! Say I'm unreasonable, so be it!!

Sigh..
Aiya.. Going off liaos.~ =)
Bye bye~~
PLAY WATER!

Ktv trip.

2008-06-10T00:31:00.000-07:00

What the..
I fell sick..
Vomit blah blah blah out. Whatever I eat.

Idiot..
Still feel queasy in the stomach.
It's gastritis acting up again I supposed.
Hardly like that..

Fever and sore throat some more.
Idiot.. What happened huh..
Is it that food court's food has problem or..?

Anyway.. I'm so disobedient.
I was supposed to rest at home.
I went out with sister, brothers and Shu Qing to KTV.
Don't scold me.~!!

In the morning, I was really resting.!!
But then afternoon, my sister told me to come along.
So, cannot blame.

Wow.. I didn't know Shu Qing can sing as good as a singer. O.o
Shocking.
Laugh*
With natural sore throat, I still sing.
It was fine at first; until I sing "Bei Ai De Nu Ren"
Out of tune until~~~ My sister threw up the water that she was drinking. x)

They find me going quite crazy actually.
I felt so too.
Good place to vent out frustration. =P

We sang some high songs.. Before we had our dinner..
Aww. The food there is "superb"!
Cold chicken. Warm soup. Warm rice..
Don't think is very hygienic too..
Zzz.

No choice~ T-T
We had a cup of cold bubble tea.
Hey~ The bubble tea is nice. $1 only eh.
Taste really nice.
We had a deal; to buy the tea from that shop the next time we visit the KTV.

And I went home..
Last night, threw up 3 times.
I was only able to sleep at 3.30am.
Woke up at 8.30am.
5 hours only.. T-T

Thank goodness, quite cooperative.
I didn't have fever.
But stomach is still upset.
Coughing for the whole morning too..
Lungs hurt.
Never mind.
I am strong. Will be fine very soon~

Rest more bas.
Today still have to work out my color scheme.
I shall start my Final soon.
Tomorrow.
All my agenda is planned.

I still has the math ten years series to complete by June.
Cos' I have got 2 books. T-T

So pathetic. T-T
I'm sick yet can't rest well. T-T

Work hard!!!! I can do it!!
Show you something..

What's with that expression..?? -_-"

My brother singing.

ShuQing emo.

Why my eyes so small, don't ask me.
Beike took the photo.

We took together! Aloysius also here!
Next time we go out together again! xp

Convey

2008-06-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wish I never knew you.
But without you, I wouldn't have known what is that love of happiness.
Now, I promise.
This time I will keep my promise.

"I will not see your blog again."
"I will not see you anymore."
"I will not sms you"
"I will not talk to you in msn unnecessarily."
Well, I don't have anything to talk to you anymore either.

Thank you for providing me happiness.

Sometimes, I think I am too mean.
But.. This..selfish me..wished to protect myself.
I don't want to get hurt again.
So, I don't want to see you again.

Let fate decide.
I guess, we will never see each other for this lifetime anymore.
Because we never meet..
Or rather, we always walked passed each other but never knew each other's presence at all.
One in the west. Another in the East.
I doubt we have such fate to meet too.

I rather we have jet time difference and never meet on msn.

That shall be the last time I see you..
Really..Thank you for everything.
I wish to say thank you personally too..

But..I wish you happiness.
Cos' you have found someone you love. =)

I..wish to disappear from this place where I don't belong.
My heart spoke. This is something I can't control.
You can't hear. You covered them.
Some how, I lost the ability to cry too.
I wanted to. But I can't. Maybe I know it is quite pointless.

I am super gullible.
How would I believe in this trap again?
Never mind. I doubt I will fell into it again.
Shutting myself away from you.

I think friendships are much more true than relationship.
Wait till I get happier.
I think I will live better. =)

Everything is fine..
As long as you're happy.

Still, I don't wish to appear in your life anymore.
Not going to let you feel that you have hurt another person.
Cos' I'm living happier like you..
So you will never know how I am like now..

Now, I'm absolutely convinced.
I won't like you anymore.. I will do it.

Smile on..
Actually, as long as people around me is happy..
I will be happy..

This is my last message to you.. I suppose..

Agenda

2008-06-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

It's 2am..
Insomnia?
Perhaps.
I've just became the full circle panda.

Lols.
I am going to sleep.
Schedule is like that tomorrow.
Meet Qian till 12pm.

Back home, do arts till 4pm.
Then maths. Hopefully more than 30 questions.
Maybe work till 7pm.
Then the rest do English?

Complete my English and no fret.
The rest of the time, Maybe from 11pm onwards, Pack my room again.

Sigh.. So much to do.
I just finished the stars..
Fingers hurts a little though.
Just like playing guitar..

It's always on my own part of wishing.
This is the second time, but the last time.
Qian returning the tie.. so do I.
No more.. I don't know how to fall in love..

Sigh.. messages received.
Maybe, reply tomorrow..
No mood for today.

*I say: Every morning when you smile to yourself at least 10 times in the mirror, your day should be brightened.

I had tried that.
Maybe these day I didn't. LOLS. I will.

Sleep liaos. Good night!

That kind of love.

2008-06-06T19:25:00.001-07:00

*laughs~
Life is more than love.
I think, I survived because of love.

-Because everyone showered me with love; that's why I feel so happy.
Ever so happy.

What you have provided is just a little more..
Cos' I yearned for yours.

No wonder people says, Friendship are always better than love.
However, why should I show I'm weak.?
*I just need to convince myself that I don't need you anymore.
Once I did.

Fine..
Surprise will still go on..
That will be the last too.
The last time that I'll be seeing you.
Not because of anything. But because we would hardly see each other.
No fate maybe; maybe for this lifetime, we will never see each other again.

However, I'll FORGET your love.
Cos' it is illusion.
What I thought was true was just virtual.

Can you imagine, I had been dreaming for 1 year plus.
I am fated to forget you within 7 months.

No point.
I don't love you anymore.

The more I should return what is supposed to be yours.
Now, I believe.
Love may not last forever.. Not your love definitely.

What am I looking for then?
I wonder..
Maybe.. I am looking for..
Friendship. That kind of love.
Kinship. That love.
That is maybe what I need.

1 person on earth can't make himself/herself happy.
It takes at least 2 people to do that.
Even if it is just a company.
Animals will do. Just one more company.
Companionship.

Time to move on.
Honestly, you worth too much.
I don't worth you at all.

Well, everyone got it right again. =P
I'm always so stubborn.
Like to experience things in different way.

Wake up

2008-06-06T03:04:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your advice again.
Should I consider it, a trauma?

Right, Jia Xian.
You got them all right.

All memories should leave it as it is.
No matter how I missed it, how much I love you even now.
What's gone is gone.

Hyde got them clearer.
Since you have given up, why should I continue to love you.?

Why do I not understand all your hidden messages until now.?
I was left with no time to cherish at all.
No point being sad anymore.
I cannot blame anyone.

So what if I cry my eyes out?
So what if I go blind.?
So what if I love you?
So what if he whom you think has never existed?
So what if everything has become virtual.?

Life is a dream.
Cos' I dreamed of you.
You completed my life.
So it ends too.
I woke up.

No one can replace.
Even if I get into another relationship.. No one.
The things done together was beyond what a couple would really care and do at this age.

Leave it as a memory.
Hold my vision strong and achieve what I should.
Time to go..
Time to go..
I have something important to say, Hyde.
Wait till I see you..

Breathing also feels the pain.
A touch even does.
Not enough.
I want to say..
I can't see the rainbow anymore, so your eyes, look at them for me.
Cos' we see them together.

Survey

2008-06-06T02:30:00.000-07:00

[Song 50.]

Rules of the game: Remove one question from below, add in one of your own (personal), to make a total of 20. Tag 10 people in your list in the end of this post. Notify them.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
- 28/29

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 buddies you'd take and why?
Qianyong- She is good listener, Winnie-She is a sweet girl and Jessie-She is thoughtful.
I doubt I'll be bored without them. Grow old together.

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Japan

4. If you can have 1 dream come true, what would it be?
World peace

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Maybe.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
friends and family.

7. If you win $ 1 Million, what would you do?
Donate most. Leftovers, parents.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
......probably

9. One bad point the person who tagged you has got?
Hmm. I doubt he has.

10. Is everything possible to you?
i'm.possible

11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Jerks. What you can think of.

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
Definitely.

13. Any wisdom to share with your readers?
Cherish while you can bas.

14. If there's ever a war(or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?
fight.

15. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
That childish me.

16. What would you do if it is end of the world?
I want to see you once more.

17. what do you think the most stupid thing humans may get to?
learn how to cherish something after it's lost.

18. What does love means to you?
Inside one.

19. Do you believe in forever love?
I do.

20. When a couple have broke up, will they be back again?
I believe. If they love each other.

*10 people you tagged to do ?
SMILE to everyone.